She already has everything she wants. You live too far away to take her to dinner. Flowers make her sneeze. None of the cards are funny. Wait — before you give up on Mother’s Day and disappoint everybody in the family, listen to this: on Saturday, May 12 (the day before Mother’s Day, if you’re trying to use the lost-calendar excuse) from 9:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. at the Bangor Mall, you can telephone your mother, anywhere, for free.

E.T., here’s your chance.

For the second year in a row, United States Cellular, a mobile telephone company based in Bangor, will make three of its cellular phones available in the center court of the mall from opening to closing on the eve of Mom’s big day.

You don’t have to buy anything, and this won’t mysteriously reappear on your credit card bill three months from now, along with the video you forgot to return.

“There’s no restriction on area. If your mother lives in California, you can call her, and if she lives in Levant, you can call her,” said United States Cellular spokesman Hal Wheeler.

“The return on it is immeasurable — it’s in good will,” he said.

Last year, Wheeler said, the offer proved popular, as filial greetings filled the airwaves all day long.

Although the company was not sure what to expect in the promotion’s debut, few people abused the offer. Most of the calls were short, Wheeler said, and the vast majority went to people in the state, especially the greater Bangor area.

So if you are going to try to wriggle out of this opportunity claiming a fear of queues, think again. “Nobody will have to wait very long,” Wheeler predicted.

And if you thought cellular telephones were only for Wall Street’s dealers-on-wheels, take heart: a recent survey showed that between 60 and 65 percent of all calls made on the Space Age’s speaking horn are personal.

Some kids, of course, are better at finding excuses than ways of showing their appreciation — Mom, you know if yours fit in this catagory.

Even these reprobates may get their chance, however. Wheeler said that United States Cellular will welcome any mothers who want to use the phones at the mall Saturday to call their children.