Strange animal types gather at local watering hole

It’s time for a helping of scraps and postscripts.

You meet an assortment of strange characters at the local watering holes and our perturbed poodle’s water dish is proof of the fact.

The other morning, within a span of 15 minutes, a hand-raised red squirrel hurried in to take a few refreshing drags. Before he’d bounded on his way, a maturing woodchuck scuffed over for a dainty lick or two. Then, Punchy, the owl, glided down from his perch on the woodpile and dunked his entire head. Twinkles, the poodle, moved in for her turn, but, after sniffing the water, she turned away in disgust. Those who had gone before must have left a wild flavor.

Bert, that grounded and entertaining barred owl, is now listed under Hoots Who in Bird Heaven. He had rallied from several attacks of “the wilties,” but enteritis dealt the fatal blow. He spent most of his last day sitting in his bath pan with his eyes closed. We knew he was on his way out when he didn’t object to Punchy joining him on his roost.

That night, he toppled from his perch and I held him while he slipped away. Having gone that route with other dying birds of prey, I held his ankles between my fingers, which was a wise move. As he drew his final breath, his talons dug so deeply into the arm of an overstuffed chair that they had to be cut out.

Since he’d occupied a roost in our living room for nearly two years, we notice the empty space, but Punchy doesn’t share our sadness. In fact, he’s ecstatic! He’s now free to bathe whenever he wishes and to occupy the perches once claimed by Bert … who wasn’t hesitant about knocking Punchy beak over tail feathers if he intruded on his territory.

Oscar the bear, who has also been referred to as The Kaopectate Kid, is feeling less and less guilty about having a daily beer. He’s donating his empties to a local church which, in turn, cashes them in for a fund to help the homeless. If that doesn’t take the curse off, what will?

He’s also feeling much more comfortable about his love for Bud since learning that a veterinarian prescribed beer for a calf with the scours. When I asked the calf’s owner if the animal lived, she answered, “For three weeks, but she died happy!”

The latest entries on Oscar’s guest list include four visitors from Hong Kong — a young man, his Japanese wife and her non-English-speaking parents who “had a yen” to see the befuddled bruin. They were also quite captivated by Punchy and informed us that owls are often added to soups in Japan as a cure for migraine headache. Most of our live-in owls have been the cause of … not the cure for … headaches!

This is a conversation that took place when I answered an 11:30 p.m. phone call.

“Hello, is this The Feather Bed Inn?”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Is this The Feather Bed Inn?”

“This is Feathers and Fur Wildlife Waystation.”

A pause.

“Wellllll … do you take in overnight guests?”

“Only if you’re a raccoon.”

CLICK!

The obviously travel-weary man was in no mood for funny remarks.

And, talk about mistaken identity … we just had two cages delivered, addressed to Feathers and Fur Wild Waste Station. Evidently, the sender believes we operate a doo dump!

Jerry Elwell is a free-lance nature writer from Sherman Station.