Nothing makes me want to get my golf clubs out of the basement and polish them up like The Masters. The sight of Augusta National is about the only thing that could inspire me to brave the April-in-Maine weather and play that always-painful first round of the season.

More painful than the weather, however, are the new greens fees at Bangor Municipal Golf Course.

In case you haven’t played that first round yet, the weekday rate for 18 holes has gone up from $13 to $15, an increase of just over 15 percent. You might be interested to know if there’s another 15-plus percent increase next year, it will cost $17.30 for a weekday round. Let’s say the city of Bangor keeps upping the price for a weekday round by 15 percent. Know what it’ll cost to play in, say, 1995? Try $26.52. By ’96 it’ll be $30.58. And, if you’re still itching to sneak away from the office for a little $2 Nassau in the year 2000, you’ll have to shell out $54 just to step up to the tee. By that point I don’t think the Masters will elicit the same response….

‘Scuse me for casting aspersions on the Red Sox at such an early date, but their payroll, slanted heavily toward pitchers and, to date, disappointing results, kind of puts me in mind of last year’s Kansas City Royals. Oh, and by the way, WHERE WAS JEFF REARDON the other night in Toronto, Joe Morgan?….

This year’s All-Maine team puts me in mind of the best schoolboy hoopsters I’ve had the privelege of eye-balling the past 18 years. Here’s my Dream Squad: at the point, Ben Graffam, Bangor ’75; at the two-guard, Gary Towle, Cony ’78; at one forward, Mike McGee, Lawrence ’76; at the other forward, Doug Roberts, Rumford, ’76; at center, Stanley Wright, Cheverus, ’81…

Best description I’ve heard of Lanny Wadkins on the golf course, courtesy of Bill Lyon of Knight Ridder: “Wadkins plays a round like he’s playing polo, without the horse.” If you saw the former Greater Bangor Open champ backhand a tap-in Friday during the Masters and miss, instantly dropping a stroke, you can’t help but wonder what Lanny is hurrying to get to (or get away from)…

A month ago I’d have given the Celtics a shot to win the whole thing. But chronic injuries to Bird (back), McHale (ankle), and Lewis (back) have rendered the C’s too fragile to make it through the NBA playoff meat-grinder. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Indiana knock them off early if they match up….

UMaine basketball coach Rudy Keeling reportedly has his eye on a couple of junior college prospects from the Chicago area, which is why you haven’t heard an NCAA letter of intent signing announcement yet on the lucky recipient of Maine’s last available scholarship this year. The JCs, naturally, are waiting as long as possible to see if they’ll get a better offer before signing. Stay tuned….

Speaking of UM hoop recruits, Donald Taylor of Prospect Heights HS and Brooklyn, N.Y., fame, last year’s Most Courageous High School player, has yet to sign his letter of intent with Maine. Taylor has been enrolled the whole school year in the Onward Program at Maine, which is technically not part of the university, making him free to sign with any school he wishes. He could have signed this past Wednesday, but hadn’t as of Friday. Taylor is not commenting on his plans. His delay is at best curious and at worst a message he’s headed elsewhere….

Just what has Joe Morgan got against Mike Marshall anyway? With the Sox struggling at the plate, especially in the middle of the lineup, why not give the guy who hit .422 during the spring a shot?…

My second team All-Mainers: at point guard Mark St. Pierre, Cony ’75; at two-guard Matt Rossignol, Van Buren, ’85; at one forward, Francois Bouchard, Old Orchard Beach, ’89, at the other forward, Gregg Cooper, Cony, ’82; at center, Kevin Nelson, Foxcroft Academy, ’75….

Kids and young adults looking for an alternate sport to vent some aggression or a way just stay in shape should check out the third floor of the Grants Building in downtown Bangor. That’s where you’ll find Russ Palmerico, Ed Weihenmayer and John Brier’s new gymnasium, formerly the Olympus Gym. The owners have retained former amateur boxer Brian “Spider” Goggins to run their new Bangor Boxing Club. Already, there has been enough interest to set up a 10-bout amateur card May 28 at Club Roxy.