The older gentleman whom Kellie Sloat visits weekly is very quiet, but that’s all right. Sloat will tell you that she is a quiet person herself. But the time they spend together is very important. Her companion has Alzheimer’s disease, a type of dementia associated with aging.

Sloat’s visits give the man’s wife a chance to have a little time to herself, something that is scarce in what can sometimes feel like 36-hour days. “You need some respite from it occasionally,” the woman said. “Kellie is a refreshing person. She’s young and vital. He does seem to relate to Kellie very well.”

The woman is really looking forward to the days when “the snow and ice disappear. I’ll be able to get out and get my garden planting done.”

Sloat and this family have been brought together by Partners in Caring, the Bangor component of the Alzheimer’s Demonstration Grant Program. The Department of Health and Human Services chose 10 states for the demonstration project, and Maine’s Bureau of Elder and Adult Services then made grant money available to respite programs in Aroostook County, Waterville and Bangor.

Partners in Caring is a collaborative effort of the Retired Seniors Volunteer Program, which recruits and supervises the volunteers, and Westgate Manor, which trains the volunteers at its own Alzheimer’s Center.

Despite its connection to RSVP, Partners in Caring uses and welcomes volunteers of all ages, said Mary Burns. Some just enjoy the opportunity to do something for someone else, but the program also has University of Maine students volunteering as a part of their major in social work.

Part of Diane Borja’s interest in the program came from personal experience with Alzheimer’s. “I went through that with my family,” she said.

Borja praised the training that the volunteers received from Donna Turner at Westgate Manor. The training was “hands-on,” Borja said, “and showed you different stages of Alzheimer’s, and ideas of what you could do.” The training is based on what Westgate uses for its own staff, with emphasis on a variety of techniques that can be used with people whose dementia may make them difficult to handle at times.

The couple whom Connie Lawrence visits are “very delightful people,” she said. “I go in and stay with her, and he gets a few hours off.” The wife “most generally reminisces about years ago,” Lawrence said. “We just sit there and have a cup of tea, and talk about her school days.”

The person with Alzheimer’s is not the only one who develops a relationship with the volunteer. “We’re also there for support for the family members,” Borja said. It can be hard for the spouse who has, in a sense, “lost” the partner with whom memories were shared over so many years.

John Raymond, one of the UM students, found the training very helpful in dealing with Alzheimer’s. “Most people have no idea the way you should act. There’s no way to train anyone from a book,” he said.

He is having a positive experience as a volunteer. He said of his companion, “You can tell he knows who I am and that I come to see him. We enjoy each other.”

During the training, Raymond also made friends with one of the residents at Westgate, and heard that older men may find it hard to make friends with women, having been raised in an era when single people mostly had friends of their own gender.

Turner said that the resident still asks about the student who came to see him. “They’ve really bonded,” she said. “When he sees me, he wants to know how `the boy’ is doing,” she said.

The first group of volunteers who were trained last summer are doing well with their companions, Burns said, and two more people are in training. She has the names of more people waiting to be assessed to receive volunteers in their home, she said, and she is eager to hear from adults of any age who would be willing to volunteer two to four hours a week.

Another training will be held 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m. March 5 in Bangor, Turner said. The volunteers also receive continuing support from the program, and have a support group where they can encourage one another. Volunteers are reimbursed for mileage.

Anyone interested in being a Partners in Caring volunteer may contact Mary Burns at the Home Assistance Volunteer Program at RSVP, telephone 941-2803.

Those interested in receiving services from the respite program should contact Donna Turner at Westgate Manor, 942-7336.

As a volunteer, Connie Lawrence is clear about the most rewarding aspect of participating: “just the satisfaction of giving something to someone.”