Without alcohol

November 26 marks the fifth anniversary of our son’s tragic death at the hands of a drunken driver. Dave was a college freshman, home for the Thanksgiving holiday. He spent the final evening of vacation visiting friends, drinking Coke, playing Trivial Pursuit, and just having a wonderful time with old high school friends. On his way home, he was hit head-on and killed by a drunken driver who had been to a bottle party at the local Lions Club.

For us, Thanksgiving week is a week of memories. First, joyous memories, hearing of his life in pursuit of a wildlife management degree, Thanksgiving dinner with family, and other activities during that week. Then the nightmare — the doctor in the emergency room telling us that our oldest son was dead.

Many have said they cannot imagine the grief of losing a son, and how helpless they are to avoid tragedy at the hands of a drunken driver. After all, it can happen at any time; for Dave — on the way home from a visit with friends; for others — on the way to buy a Halloween costume; in a car pool going home from work; or at 8 a.m. on the way to cash a check; walking for a pizza; or turning for an ice cream.

But there is something you can do to prevent this tragedy from occurring; something you can do personally. This is the season of holiday parties. Most of you will participate in some kind of event where alcohol is served, whether it is an organized party or simply a few friends in to visit or watch a game. If you are hosting and you feel you must serve alcohol, isn’t it your responsibility to assure that every person has transportation arranged before the evening begins? Is that being a prude if it saves one family from eternal grief? Do you really care enough to follow through?

If you are not the host, why not ask? Are you fearful of what he or she may think of your asking? Isn’t that worth one life or two? If for each party or get-together, one person would raise these questions and was sincere about it, perhaps that function would not be the one we read about in the next day’s paper.

If you are parents, why not set the example and celebrate without alcohol?

Of course there is no one simple cure-all for alcohol-related crashes. We must help those with abuse problems, educate the young, and provide them with tools to avoid alcohol abuse; and provide strong deterrents to reach others. But at least for this holiday season, isn’t this something that can be done?

Please do this much, if not for yourselves, for your loved ones. David and Grace Keene Readfield