PSYCHIATRIST: “So your husband thinks he’s a chicken … Why didn’t

you bring him in sooner?”

WIFE: “Because we needed the eggs …”

Sitting on my desk at home is a small, milk glass egg. Hand blown, the egg was once used to encourage hens to lay. The artificial eggs were placed in empty nests as an incentive: Thus the expression “nest egg.”

I found the egg when an old hen house was torn down. It apparently had rolled under the floor boards decades ago and had miraculously escaped damage when the hen house was leveled. It’s appropriate that I keep such an oddity, because my family really favors eggs.

We eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. We pop hard-cooked eggs in our camping cooler, and even use beaten egg white as a skin softener after a hot day at the beach. Many times in my life I’ve raised my own chickens but, alas, I am an apartment dweller now, and I don’t think my neighbors would appreciate crowing at the crack of dawn.

Still, as the days become longer and the nights warmer, the chickens sense spring, and eggs will once again be plentiful and cheap.

Because birds walked the earth long before man did, both eggs and birds have been around longer than historians. Early Indian history places the date that the first fowl was domesticated as early as 3,200 B.C. Egyptian and Chinese records show that fowls were laying eggs for humankind in 100 B.C.

It is believed that Columbus’s ships carried the first of the chickens related to those now in egg production in this country, and that these strains originated in Asia. Today’s hens lay eggs about twice as large as those of the ancient Greek chickens.

Eggs play an important role in medicine. The production of influenza vaccine requires more than 75 million embryonated eggs a year. Mumps, measles and yellow fever vaccines are all produced in embryonated chicken eggs.

Eggs contain 13 vitamins plus many minerals, but no Vitamin C. They are extremely high in Vitamin D.

Egg yolk color depends on the feed the hen eats. Yolk color does not affect nutritive value. Two large eggs contain 160 calories, 13 grams protein, 1 gram carbohydrates and four grams saturated fat. Egg whites are top quality protein and contain no fat.

Since eggs are the one food found in every part of the world, they are part of every type of cuisine.

Here are some favorite egg recipies:

JOHN R’S EGG SOUFFLE

4 eggs 2 cups milk 1/3 pound cubed Velveeta or 1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese (this is excellent with either mild or sharp cheeses, depending on your taste) 4 slices buttered toast

Trim the crusts off the toast and cut into cubes. Place in ungreased casserole. Sprinkle in cheese. Blend eggs and milk and pour over bread and cheese. Refrigerate overnight and bake for one hour at 325 degrees.

BAKED FRENCH TOAST with Pineapple Cheese Topping

topping: 8 ounce can sliced pineapple 8 ounce package cream cheese 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

Place all ingredients in blend or food processor and process briefly so some small chunks of pineapple remain. Cover and refrigerate until needed.

toast: 4 eggs 1/2 cup milk 1/3 cup orange juice 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1 pound loaf Texas Toast

Whisk eggs, egg whites, milk, orange juice and cinnamon until well blended. If baking toast immediately, preheat oven to 425 degrees and lightly grease a large cookie sheet. Dip bread slices into egg mixture, coating well on both sides. Arrange slices in single layer on cookie sheet. (If preparing ahead, cover pans and refrigerate up to 12 hours before baking.) Bake 15 to 20 minutes, turning slices over halfway through. Serve hot, topped with Pineapple Cheese Topping.

PEASANT SOUP

4 cups beef stock 1 cup diced carrots 1 teaspoon pepper 4 eggs 1 cup dry croutons paprika

In large saucepan, combine beef stock, carrots and pepper. Cover and cook over medium heat just until carrots are crisp-tender. Reduce heat to keep broth gently simmering. Break eggs, one at a time, into custard cup and slip, one at a time, into broth by holding cup close to surface of broth. Cook until whites are completely set and yolks begin to thicken but are not hard, about 3 to 5 minutes. Put 1/4 cup broth and 1/4 cup croutons in each bowl. With a slotted spoon, place an egg in each bowl. Ladle remaining broth over eggs. Sprinkle with paprika, if desired. Serves four.

TOMATO PIE

1 prebaked pie shell 2 large tomatoes, cut in 1/2 inch thick slices salt, pepper and flour 2 tablespoons salad oil 1 cup sliced onion 1/2 cup sliced ripe olives 3 slices provolone cheese 3 eggs, slightly beaten 1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 1 cup evaporated milk

Sprinkle tomato slices with salt and pepper, and coat with flour. Saute in hot oil until golden. Sprinkle onion and olives in pie shell, top with provolone and tomatoes. Combine eggs, Cheddar and evaporated milk. Mix well and pour over tomatoes. Bake at 375 degrees for 40-45 minutes. Let set five minutes before cutting.