Holbrook’s ‘Twain’ gets people laughing in their bellies

If Mark Twain were alive today, he might be a stand-up comic playing in clubs and concert halls in big cities. Maybe that would get him his own sitcom on prime-time TV. It could be called just “Mark.” Then, of course, there would be a clothing line (specializing in white suits) and a men’s fragrance (“MT”). Soon enough he’d be making movies and going to the White House for dinner parties, and perhaps even marketing his own cigars and toy jumping frogs.

Thank goodness he’s dead.

But, as Twain himself said, reports of his death are greatly exaggerated. At least that’s true in English classes and in Hal Holbrook’s one-man show “Mark Twain Tonight!” performed Saturday at the Maine Center for the Arts. When Holbrook walked onto the stage, which was decorated simply with oriental rugs, a velvet chair, and an ornate table, it was as if the clock turned backward and the turn of the century came back for a visit.

Holbrook, who is 71 and has been doing the role for more than 40 years, has crafted a show based not only on Twain’s writings and lectures, but on photographs, biographies and newspaper stories. The compilation made for an entertaining evening that got people laughing way down in their bellies.

In speaking about the role, Holbrook recently commented that not much has really changed in America since Twain’s time and so the writer’s works still have a currency for modern audiences. It’s still funny to hear Washington called a “stud farm for every jackass in the country” or Congress referred to as “that grand old benevolent asylum for the helpless.” Even a reference to President Theodore Roosevelt in the seemingly oxymoronic roles of hunter and conservationist had a familiar ring to its punch line. “He’s going to organize a national park so he can get all the animals in one place,” Holbrook, as Twain, reported with a grin.

For sure, the thing that hasn’t changed the most is truly effective humor. Some things just keep on being funny, and Twain had a gift for developing writings and sayings that would last as long as this damnable human race. And Holbrook, who smoked a cigar throughout the evening, tapped into that humorous wisdom with much relish.

On parenting: “Insanity is inherited; we get it from our children.”

On religious history: “The only competent killers are Christians.”

On the human race: “It’s not that the world is filled with fools; it’s just that lightning isn’t distributed right.”

On drinking, smoking and exercising: “If you can’t make 70 by a comfortable road, don’t go.”

The first half of the show consisted of short monologues — and sometimes just one-liners meant to provoke and amuse. The second half of the show, Holbrook, as Twain, did a recitation from “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” on Huck’s moral transformation into a kind of abolitionist for his rafting partner Jim.

Some of Holbrook’s stage business (such as a complicated bit while folding a handkerchief) and his elongated grunts and stammers distracted from the otherwise friendly flow of the show. It didn’t help either that the miking system sometimes distorted Holbrook’s already gravely voice.

But there was little that could really steal from the success of this show, which often worked the audience into a burst of laughter and applause. Holbrook got a standing ovation and won the heartfelt admiration of a full house at the Maine Center. Clearly, Mark Twain is still alive — and doesn’t need a TV show to further his career.