Lessons from Arian

A 12-year-old girl died Wednesday. Family and close friends knew the death was imminent. It was expected. Unpredictable a dozen years ago was the impact of one child’s life on her community.

Arian Haghkerdar didn’t live to finish grammar school, but her personal experience eventually extended through family and friends and became a lesson to total strangers.

At every turn, she showed the way, giving direction and purpose to the over-complicated lives of others. Repetitious visits to the hospital. Fund-raisers. The search for donors. Chemotherapy. The loss of her hair. The cross-country trip for a marrow transplant. Constant prayers. Her gentle appeals for help became a message of what matters.

Valiant doesn’t describe the strength of a child or the efforts of her family during an exhausting, nine-year battle with leukemia. For two-thirds of her life, the family was at war with a disease. The disease won, but in her own way Arian triumphed.

Her struggle, even in failure, epitomized the devotion of parents. It illustrated the immense value of the spirit of community. It reflected beautifully the power of love from friends. One of them, Julie Rozeboom, said it well:

“No matter what was happening to her on the inside, she always had a smile on the outside.”

Arian found the capacity to fight against what was random and unfair, but understood the importance of being at peace with her limitations.

In her personal tragedy, she left a message of understanding and hope for the rest of us.