Christmas wishes to fill out sportsmen’s stockings

In appreciation for you reading the tracks left here each week, I offer these Christmas wishes with the hope of enhancing your enjoyment of Maine’s magnificent outdoors: Outboard motors, snowmobiles, and power ice augers that start on the first pull, no matter what the weather…. Boat trailer wheel bearings that won’t burn out, tail lights that don’t short out after being submerged…. Pack baskets in which flashlights, fly books, duck calls, and other items placed for quick and easy access don’t immediately begin migrating to the bottom-most corners. Never are they where you placed them when you need them in a hurry, especially in the dark…. A lifetime supply of duct tape, WD-40, and Hoppe’s No. 9….

Thermos jugs that stay hot under the collar all winter but never lose their cool in summer…. lead core line that won’t kink, fly lines that won’t snag the straps of hip boots on every other cast, decoy line that doesn’t create knots for the Boy Scout Handbook, spinning lines that have no interest in imitating birds’ nests and, of course, snap swivels that actually swivel….

Puppies full of promises and old dogs whose promises have been kept…. Retrievers that will sit still in a boat or canoe and that swim around decoys…. Bird dogs that don’t respond to the echoes of you yelling “Here!” and that realize all the birds in the cover aren’t sitting on the opposite end of the tote road…. Hounds that know it isn’t daylight in the next county when darkness smothers the woods…. A dearth of porcupines and cut pads on opening day….

Knives, hatchets, and axes that never lose their edge, dry kindling, and a camp woodbox that isn’t is bottomless…. Snowshoes with bows and babiche that won’t break and a pocketful of rawhide for makeshift repairs on harnesses that do…. Responsive canoes and paddles and poles with plenty of spring…. Boat enough to bring you home when there’s whitecaps in the bait bucket and boat ramps that aren’t as steep as Pike’s Peak…. Outboard fuel tanks that don’t lose pressure…. No wind when you’re fly-fishing, enough air flow for a dog to work into while bird hunting, a good breeze when you’re gunning ducks, and presence of mind to pull up your hip boots before wading to or from the boat…. A sift of snow for tracking deer in November and a spongy carpet of the white stuff for running bobcats and rabbits (snowshoe hare) in winter.

Here’s wishing you: Flashlights that work, screwdrivers, and wrenches that fit, anchors that hold, and boots and waders that don’t leak…. Leaders with short “memories,” cameras and semi-automatics that don’t jam, and jackknives, hook hones, clippers, and keys that are impossible to lose…. Binoculars, telescope sights, and eyeglasses that don’t fog with the slightest change in temperature…. An ice-fishing shack that doesn’t steam like a sauna bath and an ice scoop that doesn’t have wanderlust…. A compass that’s never in your other coat, plenty of Rolaids, and two rolls of toilet paper – one for your truck, the other for your packbasket; the latter plastic-wrapped, of course….

Your choice of vacations during hunting and fishing seasons…. Hunting and fishing partners who don’t measure the success of your outings by the weights of creels and game bags – and who know that dogs also have bad days…. Brush pants and leather bird boots with respective “briarproof” and “waterproof” guarantees that leave no room for claims of false advertising…. Gunsmiths you trust as much as your doctor or dentist and enough dog bells and whistles to make all your hunting jackets and vests jingle like Santa’s sleigh.

For those of you who tie flies, I wish you: Feathers that marry like they were made of velcro…. Flosses that wind on flat and don’t begin fraying after a few casts – even after lacquering…. Wing toppings and tails that curve “just right.”… Dry-fly hackles that stand up like the hair on a defensive dog’s back and wet fly hackles that lay back like a sheldrake’s crest…. Jungle cock eyes that aren’t split…. Tinsels that don’t tarnish…. Hooks that aren’t so highly tempered they crack from vise pressure…. Scissors that never snip the tying thread when a fly that’s too perfect to fish with is in its final stages.

I’d say that’s about enough wishing to stuff into any Sport’s stocking come Christmas time. As for me, if I could have a few wishes come truChristmas time. As for me, if I could have a few wishes come true on Christmas morning I would, without hesitation, wish for: An end to the Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife’s recurring budget problems…. Rejuvenation of the eastern woodcock population to what it was in the 1960s…. Improved sportsman-landowner relations…. Restoration of Moosehead Lake to its former glory as one of Maine’s most productive inland fishing grounds…. A way of convincing animal rights activists and extremists that if it were not for sportsmen’s money there would be very little wildlife left in this country and that game-conservation and habitat-enhancement programs benefit all forms of wildlife…. A commercial airline that will get me from here to there without a hitch. Delays and the attendant missed connecting flights are becoming more common than uncommon.

Now, if I were to indulge myself with just one of the many trendy electronic gadgets available to sportsmen, I’d wish for a pocket-size Global Positioning System (GPS) Navigation Unit. Equipped with one of those rigs, I’d no longer have to leave paper trails to my truck.

Have a Merry Christmas.