Mothers & Daughters> Book club compares life to stories

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As a schoolgirl, Amy Peterson Roper had to find out why her parents had named her Amy. When she quizzed her mother about the choice, she was led to the family bookshelf and handed a copy of Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women.”

“You were named after my favorite character in this book,” Roper’s mother told her. “Why don’t you read it and we’ll talk about it.”

Sharing the books she loved as a child with her own daughter, Sarah, the way her mother did with her, is just one of the reasons Roper decided to join the new Mother-Daughter Book Club, held each month at Borders Books, Music & Cafe in Bangor.

“It made me make room for more time that we can spend together doing what we really enjoy,” Roper explained. “We’ve set this time aside to go to the book club, and then go hiking or on an adventure. Besides, I’m a real proponent of women getting together at any age.”

Those are the very reasons Borders decided to sponsor mother-daughter book clubs in their stores, according to Andrea Starks, community relations coordinator for the Bangor store. Clubs across the country are using Shireen Dodson’s book, “The Mother-Daughter Book Club,” as a guide. The book outlines how the author and her daughter organized a successful club in Washington, D.C., two years ago. To lead the group, Starks turned to a former employer.

Jessie Gower of Winterport, former reading teacher, former owner of Belfast’s Fertile Mind Book Shop, where Starks once worked, and the mother of an 8-year-old daughter, seemed like the perfect person to get the club started. Beverly Cleary’s “Ramona and Her Mother” seemed like the perfect book to get girls and moms talking about their relationships.

“What did you like about the book?” asked Gower at the group’s first gathering last month.

“It was funny,” chimed in her own daughter, Katie, before Gower had a chance to finish the question. “I liked it when Ramona’s sister’s hair got electrocuted and it stood straight up all over her head.”

Katie threw back her head and laughed, while across the table, Sarah giggled behind her hand.

As Dodson suggested in her book, Gower steered the discussion toward comparisons between the characters in the book and the lives of the readers. “Ramona’s mother sometimes compares her to her older sister Beezus, which she doesn’t like. Does your mother ever compare you to other people?” she asked.

“My mom compares me to [classmate] Libby Malone,” Sarah sighed.

“But you don’t have a sister,” Roper replied. “She’s the only girl I have to compare you to.”

“Emily, Katie’s sister, is three years older, and I know it bothers you when I compare the two of you,” said Gower to her daughter. “Is there a way I could compare you to her that would be OK?”

“Well, when Emily is nice, you can compare her to me,” instructed Katie. “But when she’s not nice, don’t compare her to me.”

The mothers and daughters continued to discuss what they saw of themselves and other family members in Cleary’s characters. Katie pointed out that her mother was “sensible like Ramona’s mom.” Roper observed that she and Ramona often got into trouble for not following directions.

But when the topic turned to siblings, the discussion really got lively. It stared when Gower said, “I liked how the sisters got together and talked about how they felt about their parents fighting. … It showed that Beezus cares about her sister. Katie, do you ever feel like you and your sister are really friends?”

“No!” Katie replied emphatically.

“Well, don’t you sometimes, get in bed with her when your scared the way Ramona did?” her mother prodded.

“I ONLY climb into bed with her when I think there’s a bee in my room and then I can’t fall asleep, so I wind up going back to my own bed,” Katie added, refusing to even look in Gower’s direction.

“Sometimes, I’ll go in my younger brother’s room if he’s scared,” volunteered Sarah.

“So, when he really needs you, you’re there for him, like Beezus is for Ramona,” said Roper.

But Katie had found a topic she feels passionately about, and, like Cleary’s heroine, she did not mince words.

“I HATE being the youngest. I hate it! You’re always getting bossed around.”

Sarah agreed. “Being the oldest is better. I get to do more stuff than my little brother does. I don’t have to stick around my parents as much, or hold their hands when we cross the road.”

“I didn’t like being the oldest,” said Gower. “The youngest seemed to get to do everything. I had to work much harder for my privileges.”

But Roper disagreed. “I was the youngest girl and I kind of liked it. I could see what my brothers and sisters got away with, and I knew I could take it just that far with my parents.”

Sarah just shook her head. “I agree with Katie. Being the oldest is best.”

After the mothers and daughters agreed to disagree on the importance and value of birth order, they reflected on the first gathering of the fledging mother-daughter book club.

“I liked talking about the book,” stated Katie, “because when you read a book you get a lot of questions in your head and talking about the book helps get them out.”

It also provides an excuse for mothers to spend time with their daughters, sharing some things they both love — reading and each other.

The group selected the children’s classic “Heidi” as the next book it will discuss. The mother-daughter book club will meet at 2 p.m. Sunday, Oct. 19. Mothers of all ages and their daughters, ages 8-12, are invited to attend together, whether they have completed the book or not, but are requested to bring three questions about the book for discussion. For more information, call 990-3300.