Children of violence

Children can suffer in two ways from domestic violence: as witnesses, when they see one parent beating the other; and as targets, when the abuse is physical and direct. The longterm results of both are devastating to them as individuals and to society generally.

Today’s opinion page, in recognition of October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, is dedicated to examining this aspect of domestic violence. The four commentaries look at the affect on children and point to legal and social solutions to end this cycle of violence, which only recently has been understood to be pervasive in this state.

It is not hard to find extreme examples of children badly mistreated or even killed by the people who are supposed to protect them: Deanna Wadsworth, Matthew Ardolino, Tavielle Kigas, Aisha Dickson. The list can go on for as long as memory allows. It will continue to grow with the names of children who have watched their moms being hit and threatened and who may be physically or sexually abused themselves unless far more people get involved to stop and prevent this tragedy.

Francine Stark of Spruce Run in Bangor points out on today’s page that, “In practice, our legal system treats the abuse of a parent as a separate matter from the wellbeing of children. Visitation schedules are negotiated with a focus on ensuring each parent’s access and separate relationship with a child, as though the abusive behavior no longer existed. These judgments are based on the outdated notion that abuse ends with separation.”

The courts are just beginning to look inside families and seek ways to improve lives. The new Family Division, which could help speed the resolution process and keep tempers from getting out of control, is one approach to the problem. The Department of Human Services recently has expanded its efforts to follow up reported cases of children being abused. But it is the culture, which allows children to be exposed to horrific violence or allows them to be used as bargaining chips in an acrimonious relationship, that must change along with the legal system.

Understanding domestic violence against women — and, rarely, against men — is not yet a generation old. Understanding the effects, direct and indirect, against children is newer still. The conversation on these issues must take place if Maine is to succeed someday in addressing and ending its epidemic of domestic violence.