APEC’s pose

The only thing more puzzling than why 18 Pacific Rim heads of state would have themselves photographed in matching leather aviator jackets is just what, exactly, did the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation conference accomplish — other than ensure that the aviator jacket becomes the most passe item of apparel since the powder-blue leisure suit.

The currency crisis sweeping Asia is real. The speculation, imprudent loans, cronyism and protectionism that fuel it are real. The multi-billion bailouts to crashed economies that once soared will soon be real.

The remedies — talk about reform, belt-tightening, freer trade — are vague. As she left the Vancouver forum, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said the future of APEC depends upon whether the nations “Reach more and more specific agreements.” Translated from the diplomatese, that means the delegates accomplished bupkus.

Well, a little more than bupkus, actually. The International Monetary Fund has pledged $57 billion to shore up Indonesia and Thailand. South Korea raised its hand for $20 billion. Japan, which saw a major bank and one of its biggest brokerage houses go down in flames in the same week week, which recently took the boneheaded step of responding to a declining economy with a tax increase, either will need a bailout or will help the United States fill in any gaps the IMF can’t cover. They’re not saying which.

IMF support, of course, comes at a price — fiscal discipline, cleaning up corruption, lowering trade barriers. Already, nations seeking that support are balking at the price tag. America’s insistence that it get something for its billions amounts to, they hint, imperialism.

For Americans, Asia’s problems, whether a glitch or a meltdown, means they will be exporting much less to a region that once gobbled up nearly 30 percent of this nation’s exports. That’s a given.

What remains to be seen is what happens to Asian exports. Those tigerish economies might be kittens for now, but they still have a slew of spanky new factories that have no other purpose but to churn. Whatever gizmos the Asian nations can’t sell to each other, they’ll want to sell to Americans — cheap, perhaps even below cost. That would be good for American consumers, bad for Americans in the domestic gizmo industry.

Then there’s Congress, which is withholding the United States’ $3.5 billion contribution to a new emergency fund because of concerns that the money helps bankroll international abortion programs. And the lowered trade barriers that are supposed to be part of the bailout quid pro quo won’t be lowered very fast if President Clinton doesn’t get the fast-track trade authority Congress doesn’t want him to have.

As an example of how fuzzy APEC was, the central points of the meeting’s final declaration — called a communique because it was so very important — are that miracles do not last forever and that a thriving middle class is the foundation of growth and democracy. All they left out was the part about being brave, clean and reverent.

Apparently, it’s too much to expect that 18 presidents, premiers and prime ministers could hang out for the better part of a week and do anything of substance. Now, it’s up to the mid-level bureaucrats, all those wonks, dweebs and geeks, to hash out the details and save the world.