Living his daughter’s dream> Memorial fund will aid families with critically ill children

BANGOR — A promise to his daughter has become a mission of sorts for Kaveh Haghkerdar, who has planned the first of what he hopes will become a series of concerts to benefit the Arian Haghkerdar Memorial Endowment Fund.

The concert, featuring pianist, composer and recording artist Paul Sullivan, will be held at 7 p.m. Friday at the Bangor Civic Center. Proceeds will go toward providing sick children and their families with transportation to medical facilities anywhere in the country, as well as living accommodations and expenses while away from home.

“This was Arian’s dream and now it has taken over my life,” her father said Tuesday. “Before, I was there to support my daughter. Now, I’m totally focused on what she wanted to happen.”

Haghkerdar had assured Arian more than a year ago, while she was undergoing a bone marrow transplant for acute lymphoblastic leukemia at Milwaukee Children’s Hospital, that he would help make it easier for families to procure treatment for their sick children.

The little girl, who died last November at the age of 12, had been worried about children who needed medical treatment at a center far from home, but who were forced to wait while their parents raised money for transportation and hotel fees.

“`Don’t people understand that things like this can’t wait?”‘ Arian wondered, according to her father. “`Is there something we could do to help kids get [to a medical center] quicker?”‘

Haghkerdar said the endowment fund, which he hopes will generate $100,000 to $150,000 annually, will also help provide blood DNA typing expenses for potential bone marrow transplant donors; a library of health care and nutritional information; and computer and Internet access linking families of critically ill children with others who have had similar experiences.

Haghkerdar, a professor of engineering at Maine Maritime Academy in Castine, said his plan is unique.

“Nowhere else is there a system to help kids like this,” he said. “Insurance pays for medical costs, but does anyone think about being away from home for five to six months, about trying to survive and maintain a support system?

“I’ve been through this,” said Haghkerdar, who has offered to become a resource person for other parents. “I understand the pain parents feel, the need to have their spirits kept up, the frustration of wondering, `Why me, God?’

“If [parents] didn’t have to wait unnecessarily while they worry about air fare, room and board, if they knew they weren’t alone, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel — how wonderful that would be,” he said.

Haghkerdar, who has been organizing the musical event since last summer, has labeled it a “Thank You Concert” in appreciation for the support the community gave to Arian during her eight-year battle with cancer and continues to give now that her endowment fund is in place.

“The public — friends, neighbors, medical personnel — have always been so gracious and wonderful,” Haghkerdar said. “They’ve always been there for us.”

Haghkerdar pointed to the concert as yet another indication of people’s generosity. Sullivan is donating his talents, while Harry Starbird III, owner of Starbird Piano and Organ in Portland, has offered the use of a 9-foot, polished ebony concert grand piano — the only one of its kind in Maine.

Starbird said donating the magnificent piano for the evening enabled him to “give back.”

“After what Kaveh’s been through, it’s the least we can do,” said Starbird, who often lends the piano for charitable events. “And having kids of my own, I’m ultra-sensitive to things like this.”

For Sullivan, who lives in Brooklin, performing at the fund-raiser gives him a chance to contribute to the close-knit community he found in Maine when he moved here 10 years ago from Brooklyn, N.Y.

“For the first time in my life, I realized that I was living in a real community with real neighbors who cared about each other and pulled together,” said the musician, who has performed at other charitable events. “People and a sense of neighborhood and friendliness mean everything to me now. So when people ask me to help out, I’m delighted.”

Working to make Arian’s legacy a reality has given Haghkerdar a new-found source of strength.

“People say time heals,” Haghkerdar said, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “But I don’t believe it. My sense of loss is not diminished at all. The more time goes by, the more I realize how much I’ve lost.

“I could just sit back and grieve, but that wouldn’t help other parents,” he said. “And Arian had a great attitude about helping others. She was so natural at it — she had a big heart and lots of charisma.”

The father’s face crumpled for a moment.

“Arian, if you can hear me, it’s tough to follow in your footsteps, honey,” he said. “But I’m trying.”

Tickets, which are tax deductible, are $5 for students and senior citizens and $10 for adults. They are available at Libby’s Hallmark Shop and the Gift Gallery in Bangor; Molly’s in Winterport; Marden’s in Brewer; and at the door. For reservations, call 973-3700. Seating begins at 6:30 p.m.