And another thing …

To prevent another outbreak of gruesome and fatal mad cow disease, British health authorities announce their intention to ban the sale of bone-in beef cuts after the first of the year. To show their gratitude for being shielded from harm, British consumers promptly dash out to grab up every potentially lethal standing rib roast and T-bone they can get their mitts on. Keep this in mind should you ever need to explain the difference between crazy and stupid.

On the eve of his 95th birthday, South Carolina Sen. Strom Thurmond says he’ll step down as Armed Services chairman next year “to make way for the next generation of leadership.” His successor, the young Turk getting his big break, will be Virginia’s John Warner, 70. And critics say the Senate is just a Good Old Boys Club.

Aging with a grace members of Congress would do well to emulate is Frona Thornton, the 108-year-old Penobscot woman profiled in Saturday’s BDN. Her secret? Moderate daily doses of pizza, candy and doughnuts. Her advice? “Be as good as you can to everybody and make as little work for everybody as you can. That’s all I can say.” That’s saying plenty.

Back to the subject of madness (See cows, above), the Pentagon has just rewritten its guidelines for using nuclear weapons to reflect the reality of the post-Cold War era. According to Gen. Eugene Habiger, commander of the U.S. Strategic Command, the new rules are based on “the basic concept that nuclear war is horrific.” Whereas before it was merely yucky.

With daughter Chelsea off to college, President and Mrs. Clinton have decided to fill their empty nest by adopting a 3-month-old chocolate Labrador puppy. This addition to the household at 1600 Pennsylvania raises a host of questions: Will the president’s allergies flare up? How will Socks react? Can little Sparky afford the Lincoln Bedroom?

Time-Warner, which got roasted a few years back for releasing the song “Cop Killer,” is under fire again, this time for a pleasant little ditty called “Smack My B(rhymes with itch) Up.” Critics claim it glorifies domestic violence; the company denies it. “The notion that this song would create an atmosphere for anyone to commit an act of violence is far-fetched,” says Warner Bros. spokesman Bob Merlis, who apparently hadn’t yet seen the accompanying video, which shows women being pummeled and manhandled.