Judith McGaw is a history professor with an intriguing theory. The University of New England academic posits that the reason women don’t like technology (her generalization, not ours) is because of the brassiere. This fundamental piece of epidermal engineering, she says, has so consistently let women down in terms of comfort and support that they distrust every gizmo that comes off the drawing board. Add to that the chronic trouble men have fumbling with the same baffling device, and it’s a wonder anyone can program a VCR.

McGaw, incidentally, presented her findings last week in Portland at a lecture titled “If Men Wore Bras.” Given the, shall we say, somewhat diverse nature of that toddling town’s population, her hypothesis may not be all that hypothetical.

Elsewhere in the wacky world of research, three studies issued last week found that men with low cholesterol face a greater risk of suicide or violent death, that a low-salt diet may be hazardous to your health and that hops, the flavoring ingredient in beer, may prevent cancer. Double bacon cheesburgers, a large order of fries and a six-pack — your keys to good health.

Astronomers at the University of California at Berkeley claim they have found the most distant object in the universe. Training their powerful telescope on the blackest region of space, some 12.2 billion light years way the heck out there, they spotted — you guessed it — the end of Kenneth Starr’s Whitewater investigation.

Closer to home, but still a bazillion miles from reality, is Anthony Cabana of Sanford, the first man to be charged with a gender-based hate crime under the Maine Civil Rights Act for viciously assaulting his pregnant wife and at least two girlfriends. The 31-year-old battling beau, who has been arrested 34 times since 1985 and convicted 11 times for assault, criminal mischief and terrorizing, claims he’s the true victim of discrimination and objects to being labeled a “lowlife scumbag who hates women.” Tony loves women — he’s got eight kids by four of them to prove it.

Closer still, the Queen City City Council continues to wrestle with — make that thoughtfully consider the regulation of — nude dancers. Among the provisions of a proposed ordinance is a requirement that the strippers provide police with their names, addresses and other personal data. Expect a class-action Freedom of Information Act filing by the Greater Bangor Lonely Guys Club.