In this muddled case of Jones, Lewinsky, Willey et al., events of this past weekend cleared up two things: When it comes to humor, Bill Clinton is no Ronald Reagan, much less a Henny Youngman; when it comes to an understanding of sexual equality in the workplace, neither Anita Hill nor Gloria Steinem can carry Patricia Ireland’s briefcase.

For 113 years, since the Benjamin Harrison administration, the Gridiron’s annual dinner has been the one night a year when politicians and the Washington press corps drop the charade and admit they really like each other, or at least get what they want from each other. Jokes, gags and skits on the issues of the day are the order of the night.

So the president, under increasing fire for hiding behind the panoply of legal machinations, took his turn on the podium, good stonewalling sport that he is. He poked fun not at himself, not at his accusers, but at his lawyers, those obfuscators who prevent him from leveling with the American people, those dastardly villains everybody loves to hate.

Here’s one of the three jokes the president said his attorneys approved for the occasion. “Knock, knock. Don’t answer that.”

Contrast that with Reagan’s running “Can’t hear you over the helicopter” schtick. It started as an impromptu thing, a deft combination of self-deprecating aknowledgement of his own advancing age and a jab at the hounding press. It soon grew into a never-fail laugh getter, aided by the former president’s impeccable delivery and the always hilarious sight of Sam Donaldson throwing a fit.

The present president could learn from this. If he won’t sit down for a heart-to-heart with the American people, if he won’t stop his staff from assassinating the character of every accuser, if he won’t tell his aides to drop the executive privilege routine, he should at least direct the barbs at himself and his accusers, not at the lawyers he’s set up as straw men. While he’s at it, he should get better writers.

Then there’s Hill and Steinem, who did more damage to the feminist cause in a weekend of inadvertant comedy than Rush Limbaugh could do in three lifetimes.

Prof. Hill told “Meet the Press” that her case against Clarence Thomas was different because he was seeking a spot on the the Supreme Court, not a mere presidency. Besides, President Clinton, despite a little office groping, is otherwise strong on women’s issues and, besides still, the Paula Jones case marks — in Hill’s view — the first time in sexual harassment history that it’s the woman’s word against the man’s. If these are examples of the kind of thinking taking place in the professor’s class, every new lawyer she turns out should come with a warning label.

Gloria Steinem somehow managed to top that nonsense in her Sunday New York Times piece. Even if the president dropped his pants in front of Ms. Jones or squeezed Mrs. Willey beyond the boundries of mere friendship, it’s not harassment, Steinem wrote, because he stopped when the women said “no.” Just like a good high school boy on prom night should.

But the president of the United States, or the governor of Arkansas for that matter, is not a horny high school boy. Neither is he some horny assistant regional supervisor who has to pinch, prod and pressure to get his way. He’s the top dog, the one to whom everyone he comes into contact with is a subordinate. The object of these unwanted affections may well wonder if the choice is to submit and have a career or to resist and go back to stuffing envelopes.

Patricia Ireland, head of the National Organization for Women, began speaking out against the presidential tactics weeks ago. She says the seriousness of unwelcome advances in the workplace is in direct relation to the power of the one making the pass. If it’s sexual harassment coming from an assistant regional supervisor, it might be sexual assault coming from a president. Ireland may not be entirely right, but at least she’s not being silly.