Southern Baptists, 16 million strong, have adopted a new credo instructing wives to “graciously submit” to their husbands in the same way all church members submit to Christ. Like all mortals, Southern Baptist husbands may have their flaws, but a lack of self-esteem certainly isn’t one of them.

The nation’s most prominent Southern Baptist, of course, is President Clinton. While a long-time advocate of gracious submission, he must be disappointed to learn it now applies only to wives.

The Wall Street Journal had a friendly little chat with Gov. King the other day, lobbing such toughies as how good things were going in Maine, how good he was doing as governor and how good good can get. The Journal didn’t ask the governor how he likes his softballs served up, plain or on a silver platter.

Biddeford businessman Ross Connelly won the Republican primary for Maine’s 1st Congressional District Tuesday by campaigning as being more to the right than his opponent. Incumbent Democrat Rep. Tom Allen reacted to the election result by labelling his new challenger “the candidate of the right wing of the Republican Party.” Gee, Mr. Connelly’s been the nominee only a few days and already the endorsements are rolling in.

George Stevens Academy senior Luke Eaton was suspended from school last week and nearly barred from the graduation ceremony for his violence-threatening yearbook entry. Considering that Eaton submitted his blurb last September and that it was approved by the faculty advisor at that time, one wonders just what part of “DIE! DIE! DIE!” did school officials not understand.

The National Pork Producers Council (the outfit that threatened to take the Maine Lobster Promotion Council to court last year over the “other white meat” slogan) has adopted a new mascot — a red, white and blue pig. The United States Congress, fresh from gorging itself on the budget-busting Transportation Bill, is planning its own lawsuit for copyright infringement.

The Snorri, that aptly named Maine-made replica of a Viking ship that slumbered aimlessly around the North Atlantic for a couple of weeks last summer, is being readied for another crack at re-creating the Norse voyages of a millenium ago. W. Hodding Carter and his intrepid crew of swashbuckling trust-funders plan to set sail from Greenland late this month, equipped with a few new pieces of authentic gear: laptop computers and digital cameras, in case Virtual Viking web surfers want to be bored silly in real time; and a couple of shotguns, in case polar bears want to do everyone else a really big favor.