Ripped off

When it was discovered a month ago that home-run slugger Mark McGwire was packing andro to get ripped (Sportspeak for ingesting androstenedione to build muscle), it looked for one brief, shining moment as though society would engage in a thoughtful debate on the true nature of athletics and the nexus between role models, chemicals and kids.

OK. Enough thoughtful debate. Now it’s time to sell the stuff.

ESPN and Fox Sports Net cracked the wall separating conscience and commerce this week by airing ads for andro on afternoon bodybuilding programs. The national association of high school coaches howled in protest for several good reasons: The testosterone-boosting supplement, a close cousin of dangerous anabolic steroids, is unproved in efficacy and unknown in side-effects; it is banned by the Olympics, professional football and the NCAA; the ad disclaimer that andro is not recommended for persons under 18 is essentially the best come-on imaginable for precisely that age group.

ESPN yanked the ads a day later, coyly saying it did not anticipate the ruckus. This is the same ESPN that did not anticipate a ruckus when it aired ads for creatine, another dubious compound, during — of all things — the Little League World Series.

Fox, which still runs the ads at least was honest about it. Fox sells the entire block of time to the bodybuilding show and thus has no control over the content. It just cashes the checks and covers its eyes.

So now the genie is out of the bottle, at a mere $39.95 for 100 capsules in 50 mg doses. Now those who bring sports into the home have decided that this new revenue stream will be held back only by public outrage and they know full well that public outrage eventually gives way to resignation.

Want to learn more about andro? Look it up on the Web. What you will find is that for every entry offering a scientific assessment of the supplement, there are 20 offering it for sale. Add 18 pounds of muscle in two weeks. Just like steroids, only legal. Adjust dosage if the increased aggression leads to too many confrontations with umpires. Don’t let the worrywarts get you down. Be like Mark.

The reason science knows so little about andro is that, although first synthesized in way back in 1935, it has until now only been used occasionally as part of a therapy regime for some cancer patients. What science does know, in general and in laymen’s terms, is that tinkering with the chemistry of an otherwise healthy body is rarely a good idea, that making the liver (where this extra testosterone is produced) work overtime is never a good idea and that artificially boosting the production of a naturally occurring body chemical often inhibits the body’s ability to produce it on its own. But that knowledge did not come from studying andro specifically, so, as far as the andro industry is concerned, it doesn’t count.

The sports world knows performance enhancement is an important issue that must be faced, but facing important issues is not something the sports world does particularly well. Example: The great Olympian Florence Griffith Joyner died this week, unexpectedly and tragically, at age 38. Although she always passed the most rigorous drug testing without a glitch, speculation ran wild that she was packing. Meanwhile, the toughest question Slugger McGwire faces is what he thought of that 0-2 pitch. Now that’s something to get ripped about.