It towers over Bethel, a 113-foot monument to what can be accomplished with 6 million pounds of artificial snow, several heavy cranes and one clearcut-worth of lumber. They call it the World’s Largest Snowman, but the shape isn’t quite right. Too tapered. Can’t call it the World’s Largest Snowcone either. Snowcones have taste.

Texas Rep. Tom DeLay, long one of William Jefferson Clinton’s most vehement critics, now finds himself sharing a common bond with our prevaricating president — he’s accused of fibbing under oath about his financial interest in a pest-control company. The Lone Star lawmaker dismisses the allegation, saying, “There ain’t nothing to talk about.” Depending, of course, on what the meaning of “ain’t” ain’t.

In this time of sleaze and strife, a Machias reader finds himself uplifted by the news of a Wiscasset man winning $11 million in the American Family Publishers Sweepstakes. “This is the kind of good reporting that we need more of,” writes our correspondent. “No bombs, no bloodshed, no sex, no hate and villification. Please find more!” It would be our pleasure. Note to Ed McMahon: Our office hours are 9-5, Monday through Friday. Stop by.

The brain of Ishi, a Yahi Indian known as “the last wild man in America” has been found in a dusty beaker in a Smithsonian Institution warehouse some 80 years after scientists misplaced it. Without a trace of irony, a somewhat embarrassed Smithsonian spokesman says the aboriginal organ will be returned to his California tribe “to preserve Ishi’s memory.”

The spanking new MidAmerica Airport in the St. Louis suburb of Mascoutah, Ill., has everything a modern airport needs — baggage carousels, ticket counters, food courts, ample parking. Yes, the $330-million taxpayer-funded facility has everything except, nearly a year after opening, airlines and passengers. Local boosters remain confident that their 10,000-foot runways will see action before the weeds pop through. One word for the Mascoutah movers and shakers: skateboards.