Let’s start with the easy stuff first. The Red Sox will not win anything. They will draw 33,000-plus every game, make tons of money, and not win anything in 2000 either. Why bother?

Another major league season, but you won’t know it watching the Devil Rays, Twins, Royals, Athletics, Marlins, Phillies, Brewers, Pirates and Cubs (except for Sammy Sosa). They are the have-nots and the best argument yet for creating a whole new “not so major league” league.

In the National League, the Braves, Astros and Dodgers should win division titles. Pitching still wins and Atlanta’s Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz can pitch.

Even with Kevin Brown, the Dodgers everyday lineup isn’t good enough to beat the Braves. Gary Sheffield is moping again, Todd Hundley is hurt, the infield is filled with errors waiting to happen and Rupert Murdoch owns the team.

When summer is done, Los Angeles will say of Kevin Brown’s $10.5 million, “We could have lost this early a lot cheaper.”

The Mets and Giants will keep it interesting and Colorado just might surprise everyone. Under new manager Jim Leyland, they’ll be expected to produce daily. Dante Bichette, Larry Walker, Vinny Castilla and Todd Helton make for a fierce lineup. If their pitchers can just get balls to come down somewhere short of Washington State, then they might contend.

In the American League, it’s the Yankees, Indians, Orioles and Rangers.

The Yanks now have Roger Clemens, but Andy Pettitte’s arm is tender and David Cone’s arm is old. Orlando Hernandez’s arm is still learning and Hideki Irabu’s arm is connected to his brain. All of that should concern the Yankee faithful.

Cleveland has added Roberto Alomar at second base – big upgrade. Jaret Wright, Bartolo Colon and Charles Nagy anchor the rotation, with a deep pen to follow. Their offense was sixth in runs in the AL last year, they could be second this year.

The Orioles and Rangers will score runs and hit homers. Albert Belle might hit 80 in Baltimore’s bandbox. Texas hurts in its rotation and Baltimore in its pen.

Not to worry, the Indians and Yankees end up in the AL Championship Series – and Cleveland wins.

In the NL Championship Series, Atlanta will beat Houston – yes, the Astros get there with Moises Alou, and Turner Field hosts a party for the new world champs.

Also, Duke wins the NCAA basketball title. Oops. Maybe we better play this season after all.

As for the Orioles in Cuba, pardon me, but are we really so narcissistic and consumed by anyone who gets his face on TV that we think Fidel Castro is anything other than a butcher?

There was Bud Selig, the commissioner of basball, sitting next to Castro and just talking baseball, while protesters of communism, arrested a week earlier, sat in jail. Does anyone really think anyone in Cuba will be better off because Baltimore went there to play?

On the contrary. Castro was given a chance to show just how powerful he is. He got the U.S. to send a major league team to Cuba. He sat with the lords of baseball. He hosted parties for U.S. bigwigs in a starving nation, and the U.S. kissed his feet and ignored the test.

Winston Churchill probably would have missed the party. He had scruples and a conscience. He called appeasement “one who feeds the crocodile hoping it will eat him last.” Major League Baseball might want to check its backside where the crocodile ripped off a chunk.

NEWS columnist Gary Thorne, an Old Town native, is an ESPN and CBS broadcaster.