There is no comprehending the leap from silent anger to outrageous violence; no way to explain the terror that descended Tuesday on Columbine High School. There are only pain and grief, the unsatisfying question of whether something could have been done to stop the murderous act and the hope that time will provide clarity and comfort.

The shootings in Littleton reverberated through others towns just like it. Places that emphasize their safety; schools that proudly post their SAT scores. Safe, with aspirations, like countless other communities eager to provide better lives for their children. These are the places people go to escape the violence of big cities, but violence seems to move with them. Suburban or rural, it found places such as Springfield, Ore., West Paducah, Ky., Jonesboro, Ark., Edinburg, Pa., and Pearl, Miss.

Violence begins with words. It begins when epithets are tossed loosely around schools. “Fag.” “Bitch.” Words meant to sting, to embarrass. The edge of violence is pushed out from there — to vandalism meant to intimidate and to physcial assault. Matthew Sheppard was also a victim of an attitude that excuses violence against people who behave in ways that are different from the majority.

President Clinton, who may have momentarily forgotten about his contribution to the war in Yugoslavia, urged parents yesterday to “take this moment to ask what else they can do to shield our children from violent images and experiences that warp young perceptions and obscure the consequences of violence — to show our children by the power of our own example how to resolve conflicts peacefully.” The advice is good, anyway.

Where do parents start? First with the belief that violence is not inevitable, and then with empathy that leads to compassion. A child’s version of success at school is not limited to good grades or victories on the athletic field. Acceptance by peers is crucial. Teachers can say from early on which children will find success socially and which will be outcasts. Caring enough to pull those outcasts back into the school community is an immensely difficult job but is also immensely important.

Why, exactly, two students in Littleton, Colo., felt compelled to murder their schoolmates is not known and may never be known. It may not need to be. Less tragic examples of school violence abound; the common threads of these terrible events weave a familiar pattern. The challenge comes with the resolve to try to prevent more from occuring.