Congressional Democrats couldn’t offend their entertainment industry pals by cracking down on bloody video games, Republicans gave their gun-show buddies a free pass, but they did agree to let schools display the Ten Commandments. This probably won’t do anything to quell school violence, but at least that graven image problem will be brought under control.

Speaking of mammon worship, the GOP raked in $9 million at its big black-tie soiree the other night and Mr. and Mrs. Special Interest were the guests of honor. High-fashion members of the $100,000 club inluded: Big Tobacco, simply smashing in a no-federal-lawsuit; Big Telecom, resplendent in a local-access number; and Big Airlines, chic as ever in a passenger’s bill of rights cloak. Dinner’s over, yet the feeding’s just begun.

Speaking of A-list (amazing how everything’s connected), NYC Mayor Rudy Guiliani was happy to let Talk, a new magazine for the smart set, use the Brooklyn Naval Yard for its huge launching party — until he found out the coverperson for the inaugural issue will be Hillary Clinton, his likely opponent for the Senate. Suddenly, the event was too much for the city’s meager public-safety resources and the permit was yanked. That combination of chablis, brie and Barbra Streisand can be awfully volatile.

Times are tough in the doll kingdom. Social worrywarts fret about the steroid-induced physiques of superhero action figures. The new tattooed, body-pierced member of the Barbie family (Trashi, if memory serves) is run out of Toyland. The talking Austin Powers gets his mouth washed out with soap. Tarzan has an arm motion even the apes find embarrassing. Makes you long for the good, clean fun of Betsy Wetsy.

The national media will flock to Maine next week to record the demolition of the Edwards Dam on the Kennebec, partly because it’s a watershed (sorry) event in fish habitat restoration, partly because it’s summertime and this is Maine. Ever watchful for an economic-development opportunity, Gov. King says he’ll use the occassion to pitch the state’s salubrious business climate. Where else, he says, “can an executive fish during his lunch hour?” The working stiff would like to go, too, but she’s stuck behind the counter at the bait shop.

In this age of PC hypersensitivity, three cheers for Penobscot Nation Chief Richard Hamilton, who says Old Town High School’s Indian mascot is a point of pride for his community, not a reason to take offense. For 100 years, the school, with a large Penobscot enrollment, has used that noble visage on its athletic uniforms; the problem is the racist comments the teams get when they play on the road. By taking a stand, Chief Hamilton has put the ball for civil conduct back where it belongs, in the nitwits’ court.