Hockey flick no great ‘Mystery’

MYSTERY, ALASKA. Directed by Jay Roach. Written by David E. Kelley and Sean O’Byrne. Running time: 118 minutes. Rated: R.

Jay Roach’s “Mystery, Alaska” is part “Picket Fences,” part “Bad News Bears,” part “Les Boys,” part “Mighty Ducks,” part jock itch. It does everything one expects from a sports movie, except to scratch that itch with a film that lays new ice for the genre.

Co-written by David E. Kelley, whose campy horror film “Lake Placid” drowned at theaters this summer, “Mystery” is an overly long, formulaic tale of hockey, the real men who play the game and the women who love them, that suggests a writer whose instincts are far sharper on the small screen than they are on the big screen.

Any fan of Kelley’s television shows “The Practice,” “Ally McBeal” and “Picket Fences” knows the writer has built a career on eschewing the cliche, but here he actually courts it in a film that skates safely within the set parameters of an exhausted formula: lovable underdog sports team takes on world-class competitor (in this case the New York Rangers).

Roach, who directed the “Austin Powers” movies, does show a flair for directing Kelley’s quirky brand of local color, and he does get a few good moments out of Russell Crowe and Burt Reynolds, but he’s less sure in how to handle the film’s paralyzing moments of sappy sentiment, which are so effusive and so sloshy, one should come to this film wearing boots. Grade: C+

DRIVE ME CRAZY. Directed by John Schultz. Written by Rob Thomas. Running time: 94 minutes. Rated: PG-13.

Any film that features a hit single by Britney Spears promises to strike a few false notes, so it’s no surprise that John Schultz’s “Drive Me Crazy” warbles into theaters with a premise that’s full of them.

The film, which should have been titled “Deja Vu Crazy,” offers nothing new to its core audience of high school teens; they’ve seen all of this before in other films, most recently in “She’s All That” and far better in 1995’s “Clueless.”

The story follows two teens — polar opposites Nicole (Melissa Joan Hart of television’s “Sabrina the Teenage Witch”) and Chase (Adrian Grenier)– who share one thing in common: Each has recently been dumped by their mate. In an effort to drive their former boyfriend and girlfriend crazy with jealousy, Nicole and Chase decide to date each other, a resounding act of maturity that concludes just exactly as audiences expect — he’ll get a makeover, she’ll question her high ideals, lots of booze will be swilled by lots of minors, and, well, if you don’t feel like a night out at the movies, you could always rent “She’s All That” or “Clueless” to see how this film turns out. Grade: C

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear each Monday and Thursday in the NEWS, each Tuesday and Thursday on WLBZ’s “News Center 5:30 Today” and “News Center Tonight,” and each Saturday and Sunday on WCSH-TV’s statewide “Morning Report.”