‘Pokemon’ film violent, messy> Flatly animated ‘First Movie’ leaves viewer hoping it’s the last

“Pokemon: The First Movie,” directed by Kunihiko Yuyama and Michael Haigney. Written by Takeshi Shudo. Running time: 89 minutes. Rated G.

After seeing “Pokemon: The First Movie,” there’s little question that its title is meant as something of a threat to parents. Clearly, other Pokemon movies are planned and if they are as idiotic, chaotic and indecipherable as this, we might want to reconsider our trade agreement with Japan.

Not that children would allow it. Pokemon, which began as a hugely popular game for Nintendo’s Game Boy system before moving on to books, videos, TV shows, trading cards and toys, has saturated our culture so completely, it makes Ricky Martin look like 1999’s poster boy for underachievement.

Still, here we are — the Pokemon movie. It’s colorful, it’s loud, it has loads of action, but its animation is flat and its story is a mess, which is no surprise considering the film is the result of three separate Japanese videos being edited into a single, English-dubbed movie.

Kids won’t care — at my screening, anyone under the age of 10 who wasn’t hustling Pokemon paraphernalia on the sly was enthralled. But parents unfamiliar with the Pokemon phenomenon should know that the film’s story is steeped in war violence.

In spite of its cute-looking characters, “Pokemon” isn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy stuff of My Little Pony or the Teletubbies. What it is, is a film about a boy who longs to be the greatest Pokemon trainer ever. That he’s training these creatures to fight in vicious battles is what might cause some parents to be concerned — and consider renting a Disney classic instead.

Grade: C-

“The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc.” Directed by Luc Besson. Written by Besson and Andrew Birkin. Running time: 141 minutes. Rated R.

Nearly six centuries after Joan of Arc was burned at the stake, she’s still at it, toasting away on celluloid and packing theaters with her melodramatic tale of violence, betrayal, passion and lust. For an illiterate country peasant from France who allegedly heard voices and put an end to the siege of Orleans in the early 1400s, that’s not a bad achievement. Good for Joan.

What’s not so good for Joan is how her heroic tale of woe has been interpreted by director and co-writer Luc Besson, who doesn’t understand that Joan’s story is less about bloody battles and more about faith, spirituality and conscience.

Carl Theodor Dreyer got it right in his 1928 silent film “The Passion of Joan of Arc,” as did Robert Bresson in his 1962 film “The Trial of Joan of Arc”; these directors were more interested in Joan’s interior landscape than the landscape of a battlefield.

But Besson, the director of the action-thrillers “La Femme Nikita,” “The Professional” and “The Fifth Element,” wants to make another “Braveheart.” He wants to put Joan (Milla Jovovich, a former model and now Besson’s ex-wife) on a horse and have her gallop around the countryside, severing people in half while men storm castles and hurl boulders, and flaming arrows cut through the smoky air.

Not surprisingly, these scenes do grip — no one can say that Besson doesn’t know how to stage action — but they come at the cost of Joan’s thinly developed character, whom Jovovich plays as a bizarre cross between Punky Brewster and Atilla the Hun.

With Dustin Hoffman, of all people, as Joan’s Conscience, John Malkovich being John Malkovich as King Charles VII and Faye Dunaway perfectly cast as Charles’ scheming mother-in-law, “The Messenger” is that singular oddity: a historical film that has little to do with historical accuracy — and everything to do with entertainment.

Grade: C+

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear each Monday and Thursday in the NEWS, each Tuesday and Thursday on WLBZ’s “NEWS CENTER 5:30 Today” and “NEWS CENTER Tonight,” and each Saturday and Sunday on NEWS CENTER’s statewide “Morning Report.”