‘Secret Agent’ fails mission

“Secret Agent Man,” premiering at 8 tonight on UPN, held such promise, alas undelivered upon.

Executive producers Barry Sonnenfeld and Barry Josephson, the twisted minds behind the movies “Men in Black” and “The Wild Wild West,” take on the spy-thriller genre in the new series. Starring are the ruggedly handsome Costas Mandylor (“Picket Fences”) as the agent Monk, and Dina Meyer (“Starship Troopers”) as his willowy blonde partner, Holiday.

Unfortunately, “Casino Royale” from 35 years ago was a much better spoof of the same material. “Secret Man Agent” plays it straight, with little panache, and falls flat as a result. When the Bondian opening credit sequence to the strains of the ’60s Donovan classic is the most clever part of the show, there’s rough viewing ahead.

In the opener, Monk’s former lover Prima re-enters the life of the suave agent, telling him that she wants to defect from the terrorist organization, Trinity, she’s now part of, bringing that group’s secrets with her. But Trinity’s threats regarding their secret weapon leads to intra-agency wrangling, leaving the lovers out in the cold and on the run. The hackneyed, paint-by-number script exhibits about as much wit as an average “Martial Law” episode.

Maybe the two Barrys are a little skittish after the rude way that ABC treated their brilliant “Maximum Bob” and their ambitious revival of “Fantasy Island.” Maybe they think that TV viewers want their programming dumbed down. Whatever the reason, the predictable “Secret Agent Man” deserves to be terminated, with extreme prejudice.