And another thing …

Miffed by the Natural Resource Council of Maine’s support for a bill that would have tied tax breaks and other business subsidies to compliance with pollution laws, a group of angry Republican legislators filed a complaint against the state’s largest environmental organization, alleging it had not fully reported lobbying hours. The Ethics Commission investigated and last week found that NRCM, by following the more stringent federal rules, had actually reported more lobbying hours than state law requires. Next up for these GOP watchdogs — an investigation of generous tippers and a crackdown on folks who drive below the speed limit.

State House Democrats also are no strangers to over-reaction. When Gov. King participated last week in a White House conference on disparity in access to technology, key Dems blasted the governor for grandstanding his student laptop proposal and scoured President Clinton for making nice with a governor whose offenses include not being a Democrat. The Digital Divide apparently doesn’t look so large when viewed from the Heights of Hysteria.

Not to beat this laptop thing to death — the Maine Legislature’s doing a pretty job of that all by itself — but remember how just a month ago, this poor New England state was the toast of the national media, widely (and prematurely) hailed for being the first in the nation to put these powerful learning tools in the hands of 16,000 seventh-graders? Now, there’s a new toast, widely hailed for being the first in the nation to put these powerful learning tools in the hands of 85,000 fourth-graders — New York City. The Curse of the Bambino takes many forms.

When the Maine supreme court in February upheld a lower court’s rejection of the Passamaquoddy Tribe’s plan to build a bingo hall on 18 acres it owns in Bethel Township, the snag was portrayed a mere legislative oversight, an easily correctible glitch in a 1992 law that designated Indian Territory. Last week, the House voted to make the fix, but senators scrapped it after a tearful Bethel-area lawmaker implored them not to “redress 400 years of injustice by committing another injustice.” In other words, the misdeeds by hordes of trespassing Europeans can’t be undone by a few busloads of retirees, so why bother.

A federal advisory panel has recommended government approval of a new libido-enhancing drug. Like the old stand-by Viagra, Uprima has such potentially serious and mood-killing side effects as vomiting and dizziness, but, unlike Viagra, it works its magic in the brain rather than in the sex organs. For those undergoing mid-life crisis, it’s a zippy new red covertible for the tired old gray matter.

Researchers at the University of Cincinnati have concluded that the brain of the average man has some 2 billion more cells than that of the average woman, but have yet to figure out what all those extra cells are used for. Supply your own punch line.