`Gladiator’ lacks epic proportions

In theaters

GLADIATOR. Directed by Ridley Scott. Written by David Franzoni, John Logan and William Nicholson. Running time: 150 minutes. Rated R.

Beefcake! Blood! Body slams! Boring!

Boring? Not entirely, but at 150 minutes, Ridley Scott’s “Gladiator,” the first big film of the upcoming summer season, is not exactly the thrilling, action-packed Roman epic some fans of the genre have been beating their chests for.

Too long by a third, the film features a terrific opening in its vicious, well-staged battle against Germania, but then it quickly dissolves into 90 minutes of dull chatter before finally getting on with the gore, political upheavals and predictable betrayals.

Here’s a tip: Before seeing this film, first arm yourself with its three main source films: Fred Niblo’s 1926 silent film, “Ben Hur,” William Wyler’s 1959 remake, “Ben Hur,” and Stanley Kubrick’s 1960 bare-chested spectacle, “Spartacus.”

Those films not only showcase how well the Roman epic can be pulled off, but also how far Scott came from creating a gripping epic of his own.

Above all, “Gladiator” exists to be an epic. Fueled with a $100 million budget, the film boasts big sets, a big story, a colossal marketing campaign, a computer-generated recreation of the Roman Colosseum, a terrific cast, literally thousands of extras, and a good director. Those are its strengths.

Its problem is that its characters aren’t especially interesting. As Maximus, a general from Spain who loses everything — his freedom, his wife, his son — after the actions of his arch nemesis, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), Russell Crowe (“L.A. Confidential,” “The Insider”) has presence, but no core.

His character is an enigma, the suffering hero we never truly get to know. That’s no fault of Crowe’s — his passion holds the movie together in spite of his character’s two dimensions — but more a fault of the screenwriters, who made the timeworn mistake of focusing their attention almost entirely on the film’s plot.

“Gladiator” is hardly beaten down by its dull stretches. Once the stage is set for Maximus to overthrow Commodus, the film comes to life in its last hour. Indeed, its last 60 minutes are so terrific, it’s as if somebody else is directing the film.

With Connie Nielsen absolutely miserable as Commodus’ sister and the late Oliver Reed, who died during production, nicely conniving as Proximo, the film is ultimately clouded with historical inaccuracies, the worst of which is Crowe’s thick Australian accent, which proves something of a problem since Australia wasn’t discovered until 1,800 years after “Gladiator” is set. Grade: C+

On video

GALAXY QUEST. Directed by Dean Parison. Written by David Howard and Robert Gordon. Running time: 102 minutes. Rated PG.

“Galaxy Quest” does what all good satires do — it rises fully to the level of what it’s skewering. In this case, that leap isn’t exactly Herculean — the film satirizes the “Star Trek” television series and its cast, which, to satirists, is what lambs must be to wolves.

Still, no matter how juicy the targets, satire isn’t easy to pull off. If just the right tone isn’t struck and sustained, if the director and writers don’t understand what made the source material work and what made it fail, all is lost.

In “Quest,” director Dean Parisot and his screenwriters prove they are more than up to the challenge. They understand what made “Star Trek” an icon: its bad acting, campy dialogue and ridiculous scenarios, all underscored with a great sense of fun.

“Galaxy Quest” features a troupe of has-been television stars not unlike those in the “Star Trek” series. Typecast after their roles in the fictional, 1970s space opera “Galaxy Quest,” these five bitter, middle-aged misfits now earn their living through paid appearances at malls, store openings and “Galaxy Quest” conventions.

There, in their old stage costumes and old stage makeup, they sign autographs for their hundreds of cheering fans. As any fan of the documentary “Trekkies” knows, it’s a life that must be like no other — unwanted celebration for a job all would sooner forget.

But when real aliens come to Earth to seek help from the cast of “Galaxy Quest,” whom they believe to be authentic space commandos, the cast is suddenly given the opportunity to make their lives and their careers truly meaningful. Indeed, when they agree to fly to outer space and fight for the freedom of an alien race, this cast of characters hilariously comes into its own.

With Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver, and Alan Rickman perfectly biting as the English actor Alexander Dane, “Galaxy Quest” affectionately slams the space genre while also paying high tribute to it. That’s a wise choice in a film that should delight Trekkies — and non-Trekkies — alike. Grade: B+

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Monday and Thursday in the NEWS, Tuesday and Thursday on WLBZ’s “NEWS CENTER 5:30 Today” and “NEWS CENTER Tonight,” and Saturday and Sunday on NEWS CENTER’s statewide “Morning Report.”