The U.S. Department of Energy, already stumped as to where two computer hard drives containing crucial nuclear secrets went and how they got back, now says it can’t figure out why gasoline prices have spiked as high as $2.50 per gallon in several Midwest cities. Officials investigated the conduct of oil producers, refiners and pipeline operators and found no evidence of gouging, so now they’ll take a hard look at Butch, the guy who changes the numbers on the pumps.

University of Washington researchers have determined that new dads increase the time they spend at work after the birth of their first child, with the increase greater if the baby is a boy. They theorize that it has something to do with men wanting to reaffirm their traditional role as breadwinner, although the potty-training factor has not been ruled out.

Indiana University English Professor Murray Sperber, the most outspoken and persistent critic of basketball coach-for-life Bob Knight, is taking an unpaid leave of absence until the backlash subsides. Prof. Sperber fully expected the death threats and harassing phone calls, but the constant hail of folding chairs took him completely by surprise.

Elsewhere in that character-building world of sports, John Rocker is back in the Big Leagues. Although the relief pitcher’s brief demotion to the minors coincided with his threats toward the reporter who broke the story about his racist tirade, Atlanta Braves brass said it had to do with his struggles on the mound. In his return the other night, Mr. Rocker faced one batter in the eighth and gave up a walk. Which is pretty much what he’s getting.

Congress is giving the proposed consolidation of United Airlines and US Airways close scrutiny, concerned that the reduced competition from the biggest merger in aviation history would bypass the nation’s small city and rural airports and drive up fares. United Chairman James Goodwin told Americans not to worry, the merger will provide them with “unparalleled travel convenience and service.” OK, worry.

Researchers at the NEC computer lab have have determined why cockroaches are so hard to whack — the elusive vermin possess a super-sensitive organ that allow them to detect the most minute air-pressure variations that precede an incoming shoe. This discovery was made by pinning roaches down in blocks of wax, attaching electrodes to their neurons and putting them in a wind tunnel. We’ll give the shoe one more try.