Not to endorse the practice of fleeing police custody, but one must grudgingly admire one John Stanley Hutchinson for seizing opportunity in his escape from West Bath District Court the other day. While being led from court after sentencing for car theft and eluding police, Mr. Hutchinson bolted while an overworked guard was distracted by another prisoner. He fled into the hills and trails he has known intimately since childhood. A fierce thunderstorm immediately obliterated his tracks and scent, leaving human and canine pursuers stumped. The weather also delayed the arrival of a helicopter with a heat-detecting search device. His double-jointedness enabled him to slip out his handcuffs. A total eclipse of the sun…

Concerned about lagging enlistment, the U.S. Army has dumped its old ad agency, Young & Rubicam, and signed a $95-million deal with Leo Burnett Worldwide, whose clients include McDonald’s and Coca-Cola. A Burnett spokesman says the 29-year-old “Be all that you can be” slogan will be retired, but it’s undecided whether the new pitch will tell recruits they deserve a break today or should take a pause that refreshes.

In a decision sure to inflame the debate over separation of church and state, the Supreme Court has ruled that Louisiana public funds can be used to supply religious schools with computers, provided they are used in “secular, neutral and nonideological” ways. But who will monitor the monitors?

A new study by the Network of Employers for Traffic Safety finds that as many as 8,000 accidents a day are caused by drivers distracted by such devices as cell phones, climate controls, backseat TV/VCR combos and increasingly complex stereo equipment. The National Highway Traffic Safety Authority also is studying the issue and may develop rules requiring manufacturers and vendors of those devices to reduce the potential hazards. The American Automobile Association, however, is skeptical and says the answer is not restricting devices but educating drivers to be aware that they are being distracted. You heard right — distraction awareness.

The revised Random House Webster’s New College Dictionary will be released in couple of weeks, with words and phrases coined during the last 10 years. While other decennial updates have added to the lexicon such colorful lingo as barf, gobbledygook, doofus and bean counter, the best the ’90s could do was dot-com and 24-7. So new, yet already so old.