The city, the Strip, the myth, the madness – is one hotbed of juxtapositions, a crowded theme park on crack that’s literally bursting with kitsch.

It’s one of the few places on Earth where one can travel the world without leaving the city, a glittering mecca of gaudiness that features downsized renditions of Paris, Egypt, Venice, New York, Monte Carlo, and now, with the sprawling addition of the completely overhauled Aladdin Hotel and Casino at mid-Strip, an amazing rendition of the Middle East.

Gone are the days when Vegas appealed only to adults; now, in its all-out effort to court families, Sin City is trading in at least some of its rhinestones and pasties to become Saint City.

To a point, it’s working. Today’s Las Vegas is predominantly a hip, young person’s town comprising mainly tourists in their 20s to mid-40s who take to the jammed casinos with fistfuls of money in hand – or to the crowded streets with their children in tow.

There, they’ll certainly find their share of adult entertainment, but they’ll also find a wealth of family-orinted shows and attractions, such as Wet & Wild at mid-Strip, Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum at the Venetian, or the roller coaster that zips through the New York, New York Hotel and Casino at south-Strip.

The Strip – much like New York’s Fifth Avenue, Chicago’s Magnificent Mile, New Orleans’ Bourbon Street and Beverly Hills’ Rodeo Drive – is obviously a main attraction, something so immediately recognizable and part of the American lexicon, it has an identity and a myth all its own.

Wherever you stand on the Strip, there’s a disconnect. Paris’ Eiffel Tower looms in front of the Venetian’s Italian-inspired design; the dramatic skyline of New York, New York (complete with one-third-scale replicas of the Statue of Liberty and the Brooklyn Bridge) sits squarely across from the Luxor’s great pyramid and Excalibur’s brightly colored castle; and on the street, where Vegas truly comes to life, a cacophony of languages from all over the world rises up in a wild jumble of sounds and rhythms.

Seeing and hearing all of this for the first time makes the uninitiated feel as if somebody let the air out of Earth and allowed whole countries to collide into one another on this small stretch of land sandwiched between the Spring Mountains.

Blue at dawn, fiery at midday and bright purple at twilight, the mountains, towering against the walls of concrete, steel and glass, are among Vegas’ few remaining natural elements. They’re beautiful, a smoky ring that gathers around the greed in what’s easily the city’s most jarring contrast.

The Strip

In four short miles, one can find anything on the Strip. Anything. In the market for a $3 million diamond tiara? Pick one up at Fred Leighton. Interested in checking out an Elvis impersonator and the city’s best views? Soar to the top of the Stratosphere at north-Strip and you’ll find both. Want to listen to a live band while playing the slots? Try the MGM Grand’s main casino.

Or how about a deep-tissue massage on a handcrafted massage table (Paris Spa by Mandara, $100, 50 minutes), a free margarita (The Flamingo), a movie in a state-of-the-art theater (Showcase 8 at south-Strip), a much bigger movie in a much bigger theater (IMAX at Luxor or Omnimax at Caesar’s), a gondola ride (The Venetian, $10 adults, $5 children), a helicopter ride over the city (Las Vegas Helicopters, $69 for 30 minutes), dancing girls (Lord of the Dance, New York, New York), dancing boys (Tommy Tune, MGM), dancing water (the Bellagio’s light and water show, free, every 15 minutes).

Better yet, how about a couple of dancing old men running around in tights in the twilight of their lives (Siegfried and Roy, Monte Carlo Hotel and Casino)?

It’s all here, all the time, and it never stops.

Those coming to Vegas to get married – or, more curious, to find somebody to marry – have a wealth of options, from the famous Little White Chapel near downtown to the costume weddings at Divine Madness at north-Strip. There, those with more adventurous spirits can ditch the traditional tux and white gown and get married as anyone they choose – Bill and Hillary, Hillary and Tipper, Tipper and Tipper or, more twisted, Hillary and Rick Lazio.

As fun as this sounds – and it is fun – in the midst of all of this power, money and rush for excess is the desperation that underscores everything in Vegas. Whether in the casinos, where we saw one man lose $150,000 in the swipe of a dealer’s hand, or along the side streets, where prostitutes, hustlers and dealers linger in the lamplight, or especially along the Strip, where scores of migrant workers line the sidewalks aggressively trying to hand out porn, Vegas, more than ever, is a city at odds with its past and its future.

At no point of the day is that made clearer than in early morning, when dozens of sanitation workers take to the Strip to sweep it clean of the thousands of pornographic fliers blowing about in the city’s constant, steady breeze.

Parents seeking an early breakfast away from their hotel should take note. Removing these explicit fliers is a big job – one that isn’t finished until midmorning.

Dining

Finding a place to eat in Vegas is never a problem; there are literally hundreds of restaurants, ranging from the low-budget fare of Fat Burger at south-Strip (a treat at $6 for a burger, fries and drink) to the four-star experience of Fiore in the Rio Suites at mid-Strip, a pricey, yet sublime mix of Northern Italian cuisine that osts about $125 per person for dinner – without tip.

The problem is finding a good restaurant that’s worth an hour’s wait in line. Wherever we went for lunch or dinner, that was the standard wait for Vegas’ popular buffets. Other restaurants not featuring a buffet could be accessed more readily, such as Wolfgang Puck’s very good restaurant in the MGM Grand, the swanky Aureole at Mandalay Bay, or Andre’s, a well-known celebrity haunt located in the heart of downtown. But since this trip was essentially about experiencing the gross excess of Vegas, we stuck – for the most part – to the unique, often lavish and garish experience of the buffets.

Several were worth the wait, but none more so than the king of all buffets, at the Bellagio. This buffet is so good we went back three times to experience its amazing array of dishes, which are easily on par with our $300 dinner at Fiore.

Here, at dinner, you’ll find mountains of Alaskan king crab; smoked sturgeon with caviar; huge piles of jumbo shrimp; many courses featuring sea scallops, calamari and lobster; and an excellent stir-fry, pasta and salad bar area that caters to vegetarians. The array of food and desserts is seemingly endless; the attention to detail consistently sharp. The seafood, in particular, is as fresh as anything you’d find in Maine. The reason? The hotel has most of it flown in daily – including Maine lobster.

For Sunday brunch, expect a wide variety of breakfast and lunch fare – plus all the champagne you can drink. At $22.95 for dinner, $14.95 for lunch, $10.95 for breakfast and $18.95 for the brunch, the Bellagio’s buffet is a superior value set in a relaxed atmosphere with friendly, attentive servers.

Other buffets worth trying are Luxor’s Pharaoh’s Pheast Buffet ($12 dinner, $10 lunch, $8 breakfast), Rio’s Carnival World Buffet ($12.95 dinner, $9.95 lunch, $7.95 breakfast), and Excalibur’s Round Table Buffet, among the cheapest at $8 for dinner, $6 for lunch and $5 for breakfast.

By far the worst buffet we encountered was at the Mirage. Apparently, the hotel pays Siegfried and Roy, their star attractions, so much, little money is left over for their main restaurant, a large, brightly lit nightmare of primary colors and cheap carpets surrounded in cheesy plastic foliage and punctuated with mid-’80s pop music.

Mirage, indeed.

Imagine trying to eat anything while listening to the blaring music of Huey Lewis and the News – or, worse, to the painfully unrequited love of Loverboy’s most gut-wrenching ballads.

After the experience at the Bellagio – and even at the Luxor – everything at the Mirage paled. The food was base, flavorless; the salad greens clearly unwashed. At $9.95 for lunch and $14.95 for dinner, it was a huge disappointment, one that, upon leaving the buffet, left us with the lingering feeling that this particular experience would visit us later in the day in the most unpleasant ways imaginable.

And we were right.

Entertainment

It costs surprisingly little to fly to Vegas, and hotel accommodations are relatively cheap considering the well-appointed rooms, terrific views and good service most of the newer hotels offer even their standard guests, but that’s where many of the great deals end.

In spite of what you may have heard, experiencing all that Vegas offers is far from cheap, especially when it comes to big-name entertainment. Ninety minutes with Don Rickles at the Desert Inn, for example, cost $200 for two.

It was worth it, but with so many acts in town, it’s important to speak to your hotel’s concierge and choose carefully.

Some high points on our trip included comedians Carrot Top and Rita Rudner, both of whom were hilarious in surprisingly intimate settings, and King Tut’s Tomb and Museum at the Luxor, which, one is told time and again on the 15-minute self-guided tour, is an authentic reproduction of King Tutankhamun’s tomb.

The exhibit houses hundreds of reproductions, including one of King Tut’s sarcophagi, and an array of statues, vases, beds, baskets and pottery, all of which are meticulously crafted and positioned according to the records maintained by Howard Carter’s famous 1922 excavation.

Teens can’t go wrong with the Stratosphere’s thrill rides. Placed high atop the 1,149-foot Stratosphere Tower at north-Strip are two rides not for the weak of heart: the world’s highest roller coaster, fittingly named the Let it Ride High Roller, and the Big Shot, a jaw-dropping free-fall ride tha rockets you 160 feet into the air – and then drops you just as fast before beginning a series of encores.

We were less impressed with the Theaters of Sensation at the Venetian. With such titillating titles as “Red Hot Planet,” “Doomed Castle,” “Escape from Nemo” and “Time Traveler,” this 3D motion simulator certainly sounds fun, but at $9 for only 10 minutes, it’s too expensive and too brief to be anything more than a rip-off.

Still, nothing beats the free stuff – and if you look hard enough in Vegas, there’s a lot of it.

Some worthwhile free events include the fire and light show in front of the Mirage, the water and light show at the Bellagio pools (always changing and absolutely not to be missed), the pirates battling in the pirate ships along the front of Treasure Island (nightly), the Secret Garden of Siegfried and Roy at the Mirage, and the Fremont Street Experience in downtown. Also, it’s a must to visit the hotels – especially Paris, the Venetian, the Bellagio, Luxor and New York, New York – most of which are theme-inspired and often stunning in their detail and grandeur.

As far as gambling is concerned, the city goes out of its way to make certain you can play any time, anywhere – in restaurants, restrooms, hallways, drugstores, saloons, strip clubs, barbershops and even in the streets. The moment you step off your plane at McCarren Airport, the jingle of coins and the sound of the whirring slot machines will set the tone for the rest of your trip.

We tried literally dozens of casinos and found the loosest slot machines, the best blackjack tables and the friendliest staff at Bally’s at mid-Strip, New York, New York at south-Strip and the MGM Grand at south-Strip, where my first dollar spent gambling was quickly turned into $70 worth of coins – all eventually lost to a neighboring bank of slot machines.

Beyond the Strip

If you should become tired of the lights, the pace and the never-ending crush of people, life beyond the Strip does exist, which your hotel’s concierge can be helpful in showcasing. Some of the more notable excursions include a trip to Hoover Dam – one of the world’s major electrical generation plants -27 miles southeast of Las Vegas on U.S. Highway 93. Admission is $8 adults; $7 for senior citizens; $2 for children 6-16; free for children 5 and under.

Admission includes a tour and access to all exhibits, audiovisual presentations and the observation deck. A limited-access pass is available for $4. Visitor center hours are 8:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m.

Lake Mead National Recreation Area is just 25 miles east of Las Vegas off Lake Mead Drive and state Highway 146.

With 550 miles of shoreline, six marinas, camping, beaches, boating, sailing, scuba diving, swimming, hiking, 800 miles of backcountry roads, a tour boat and rafting, Lake Mead is perfect for those who wants to move beyond the gambling and the glitter and enjoy the wild Southwest.

Finally, for those willing to travel 300 miles, there’s the Grand Canyon. Making the pilgrimage is expensive if you organize the trip from your hotel (about $200 per person through Scenic Airlines), but that price includes round-trip bus fare, a flight over the canyon, a guided tour and lunch. It’s a full day’s journey, but for those who haven’t seen the canyon, Scenic Airlines offers a package that makes it worthwhile.

Getting around

Cars can be rented at McCarren Airport and cabs can be snagged in the front of most hotels (don’t even try hailing them from the Strip -you’ll be ignored). But why use a car or a cab when there’s the bus? It can be crowded, but it’s air-conditioned, travels to all major points and it’s cheap at $2 -significantly less than the $20 we spent for a 2-mile cab ride from The Mirage to New York, New York.

Better yet, those enjoying the hotels and casinos at south- and mid-Strip can use the monorail that travels from the MGM Grand to Bally’s Hotel and Casino, or the monorail that sails between Monte Carlo and the Bellagio.

It’s a free service and it’s kept cool – which, if you’re not into walking in the 100-degree heat to your next casino, shopping arcade or buffet, is the perfect choice.

Still, I suppose, there’s always your thumb, as two young women showcased to spectacular effect one evening as we were leaving the Stratosphere. Tired of waiting for a bus to take them uptown, and perhaps a bit too drunk to care, they approached the Strip with their shirts lifted, their breasts bared, their thumbs stuck out along with their tongues. It was a moment that encapsulated the Vegas experience beautifully. Within minutes, they had a ride, their shirts were pulled down, and they were off into the neon.

Admittedly, as our wait for the bus stretched from 10 minutes into 20, we did rethink our options, but only for a moment.

There was no way we were dropping trou.