In Theaters

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS Directed by Ron Howard. Written by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman. Based on the book by Dr. Seuss. 102 minutes. PG.

Hiss! Boo! Boo Who!

Ron Howard’s $120 million production of Dr. Seuss’ “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” may appeal to youngsters who haven’t read the brilliant 1957 book or seen the equally great 1966 cartoon, but adults who grew up on each should be appalled.

This big-budget bombastic blow-out boring bomb completely misses what made Seuss’ fable an endearing classic – the lyricism of its language, the richness of its story, the gentleness and sly humor with which it was told and, more imporantly, the enormous green heart it wore on its sleeve.

You’re a mean one, Mr. Howard. You and your screenwriters, Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman, have cheapened Seuss’ tale with your own arrogant, misguided ideas about what it should be – an in-your-face spectacle of garish, back-lot special effects crudely stapled to Jim Carrey’s unceasingly unfunny, over-the-top mugging as the Grinch.

Desperate to pull, stretch and expand Seuss’ story into a full-length feature film, Howard and his crew depart wildly from the text and the ideas that inspired it – a fatal mistake.

Seuss created the Whos and Whoville to illustrate what Christmas should mean to lesser mortals. But in Howard’s film, the Whos now are cruelly (some might say accurately) meant to reflect us.

Driven by greed and commercialism, they aren’t the sweet, decent people Seuss imagined in his Whovillian utopia, but a grossly piggish, hateful band of louts no better than the Grinch, who push and shove while clambering for more, more, more.

Cindy Lou Who (Taylor Momsen) may be the exception, but since the film turns only to her to provide the balance of good vs. evil (in the book, it was the townspeople vs. the Grinch), that balance is shot.

Momsen is cute and has an angelic smile, but she isn’t nearly enough to rise up against Carrey’s nonstop shenanigans and his obvious struggle to be recognized through Rick Baker’s elaborate costumes and makeup. His performance – exhausting and rudderless – isn’t acting, per se, but blatant pandering reduced to a series of sight gags, some of which are so distasteful and raunchy, adult members of the audience might find themselves wondering what happened to the Grinch they grew up with.

In the end, “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” is about as warm and as lyrical as a lump of coal. In a feeble attempt to inject the original tale into his film, Howard has Sir Anthony Hopkins narrate brief passages of the text, but Seuss’ words – when juxtaposed against this jarring story, these cloying images, these mean-spirited characters, this mincing Grinch – simply don’t mix.

Grade: D+

On Video

X-MEN Directed by Bryan Singer. Written by David Hayler. 96 minutes. PG-13.

Unlike other films based on comic book superheroes, Bryan Singer’s “X-Men,” based on the wildly popular Marvel Comics comic book series, has the enormous job of setting up not one superhuman character, but eight. All eight have different powers that must be mapped out and explained before the action can truly begin.

It’s a setup that takes half the movie, which would have been fine had more than two of its eight mutants come into focus. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The only two mutants in “X-Men” who become more than just their superhuman powers are Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), and Rogue (Anna Paquin). The other six mutants have histories that are hinted at – particularly those of Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Magneto (Ian McKellan) – but which otherwise are never fully explored.

To fans of the series, this inattention to detail probably won’t matter much – they know these characters intimately and will delight in seeing them brought to life on screen. But to the uninitiated, this potluck of superheroes can be a confusing stew.

“X-Men” is the story of misfits, a group of men and women who were born with genetic mutations that, at puberty, manifested not into acne or a pierced tongue, but special powers. No wonder teens love it.

In its most streamlined form, the plot follows the bad mutants, led by Magneto, who are trying to convert the leaders of the world into mutants so they will stop their witch hunt of mutants. Their thinking is this-if you become us, then you will leave us alone.

Rising against them are the good mutants, led by Xavier, who embrace their differences and find meaning in being “unique.” They don’t want a world in which everyone is the same, and thus launch a war against the bad mutants to prevent it from being so.

The problem is that much of this never takes off. The film is too restricted by convention, which is surprising considering the locale of the inevitable finale between the mutants. Recalling Hitchcock’s “Saboteur,” it takes place high atop the Statue of Liberty, certainly a place of freedom that should have liberated the film of its stock action scenes and uninspired dialogue – but it doesn’t.

Grade: C

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays in Style and Thursdays in the scene.