Approaching the door that separates the outside world from John Gould’s apartment, a visitor’s curiosity is immediately piqued by the sounds of frantically pecked typewriter keys coming from within.

Inside, the 92-year-old newsman is hard at work, pounding out yet another weekly column for the Christian Science Monitor – the same one he’s written for the last 58 years. His degree of dedication alone generates admiration among columnists for this dean of Maine journalism who refuses to quit as he closes in on 100 years of living.

But these days Gould is getting raves for his new book that sometimes caustically, sometimes comically reveals the darker realities of retirement home life. Although he recently has relocated to Bartlett Woods in Rockland, only two months ago Gould was toiling through his golden years at an independent living center outside of Portland that he prefers to call Rhapsody Home.

As the chief tour guide in Tales From Rhapsody Home (Or, What They Don’t Tell You About Senior Living), Gould recounts the sequence of events five years ago that led him to this supposed oasis of bliss for the aging writer and his wife, Dorothy.

Instead, the two-room apartment became the couple’s personal little high-priced hell where torment was metered out in the death of a thousand cuts. Gould said he chose a fictional name for the retirement center as a “cautionary” measure that was more out of consideration to his 200 former resident sufferers than the administration that runs the facility.

“They’re here and many have no place else to go,” he said.

For his $2,200-a-month rent, Gould had expected his final years to be spent enjoying decent food, comfortable surroundings, some sense of personal safety and a residential staff who, at the least, would be civil and possibly even friendly. He quickly discovered his welfare and inner peace were about the last things on the minds of administration.

Windows wouldn’t open. The food was bad. The help was surly. The security was virtually nonexistent. Most of the older residents at the home weren’t the kind to make trouble, Gould said. They knew their options were pretty limited. They could adjust, they could move or they could die.

None of those was a reasonable alternative for Gould. Relying on a nimble wit, he turned to his craft and plotted his revenge paragraph by paragraph in the 192-page novel now available at bookstores from Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill. The former feature writer for the Boston Post relies on a lightly diluted acidic sense of humor to draw attention to the plight of older Americans who live out their final days in a “commodious complex for comprehensive living, this happy haven for hapless has-beens, this paradise for previously important people.”

It was an encounter with a window that signaled the first of an endless series of complaints for the Goulds. The first night the of the couple’s new life at the home, Gould attempted to continue their long-standing practice of leaving the bedroom window open a crack for better ventilation. He almost threw his back out as he tugged and heaved against the hopelessly immovable window.

The next morning, Gould found a young woman working at the home’s front desk and he relayed his experience with the window. He was promptly told that it couldn’t be opened. As a “victim” of a society that believes in fresh air, Gould admitted his voice probably revealed an irritating quality as he pressed the issue further to determine WHY the window couldn’t be opened.

“Poised and unruffled, the young lady merely said, ‘There is nothing to be done about it.”‘ Gould wrote. “‘There is nothing that can be done about it’ was the standard aphorism to be given to anybody who had a problem. We wondered about the gink who rented the joint to us and expected us to pay our pricey monthly exorbitant rent.”

Leading Gould’s list of unpleasant problems at the home was the quality of food served at the establishment that is well-detailed in a chapter titled, “Grievances Regarding Dining.” Food is a recurring theme in Rhapsody Home.

“The food here at Rhapsody Home is as good as anywhere,” he writes. “Everything is of the finest quality. Then they cook it.”

While Gould’s story of life in the not-so-golden years elicits smiles and hilarious outbursts from the reader, there is also a serious warning to those considering independent living in a retirement home environment: Be selective when selecting a senior living facility. The author said places like “Rhapsody Home” are a national scandal and must be addressed.

“The problem is nationwide and particularly bad in Maine, but you can’t legislate compassion and if these places want to be nasty, they can be,” he said.

The book’s publication has made the Goulds celebrities at Rhapsody Home, where the writer said his sense of humor was not always appreciated. Two residents on his floor did not want to talk with a reporter about conditions there. That didn’t come as a big surprise to Gould.

“They’ve lost the steam of youth and they’re not about to go around swinging a club for any reason.” he said tersely. “They put up with what they get. But I don’t like to be bilked, misused or abused.”