Inauguration festivities for George W. Bush begin precisely one week from today with a ceremony at the Lincoln Memorial. This opening event will celebrate this nation’s two-century tradition of peaceful transitions of power, a proud record that has stood unbroken despite war, domestic strife, economic calamity, even Florida.

The pace picks up the next day, Friday, with first lady Laura Bush honoring America’s authors and VP Cheney saluting veterans. In the evening, there’s a rock concert for the kids and, for adults who still like playing dress-up, the Texas Black Tie and Boots Ball.

(From one who once lived in that large and wacky state to those of you thinking about “going Texan” for the next four years, two bits of advice regarding cowboy boots: 1) Though great for keeping rattlers from nipping at the ankles, in icy conditions they are about as useful as roller blades; 2) silver and turquoise trim is the mark of sissies and/or Oklahomans – plus, it detracts from the hubcap-size belt buckle.)

Saturday, the 20th, is the Big Dance – the Swearing In, the Grand Inaugural Parade, no less than eight Inaugural Balls at eight of D.C.’s swankest joints. On Sunday the focus turns to faith and family, with an ecumenical service at the National Cathedral and the traditional White House Open House. The festivities conclude with a new event – the Grand Inaugural Tidying Up by some of Linda Chavez’s closest and undocumented friends.

Come Monday, it’s in with the Bushes, out with the Clintons, another transition peacefully concluded. But this one, of course, stands alone. Never in American history has a change in White House occupancy seemed to so many Americans like a long-overdue combination of spring cleaning and exorcism. With recent comments by Mr. Bush and Sen. Orin Hatch signaling the unlikelihood of further prosecution of Bill Clinton, it seems future consideration of the soon-to-be ex-president will be not about legality bit about legacy; in particular, how a man so politically brilliant could be such a personal bonehead.

There is, however, one downside to this peaceful transition, an effect no one had cause to see coming. During his eight years in office, Bill Clinton gave birth to an entire new industry, a mega-empire of merchandise and media entirely devoted to hating his guts. Now he’s gone and Clinton Loathing Inc. is headed for Chapter 11.

Thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, are employed in this industry. Surf the ‘Net, cruise some of the finer gift shops and you’ll discover a treasure trove of anti-Clinton t-shirts, coffee mugs, bumper stickers and tote bags. Soon, within a week, it will all be yard-sale junk. Those $29.95 wristwatches that have a growing Clinton nose for a second hand? Won’t be worth the time of day.

And the human toll of the collapse of an entire economic sector could be enormous. There are Web sites and TV programs that exist for no other reason than to excoriate Bill Clinton; the entire genre of talk radio has become almost synonymous with the practice. With all that is unholy gone into retirement, what will these professional Clinton-haters do with their lives?

Right now, they’re casting around for a substitute devil and the going’s not good. Some conservative pundits are turning their attention to the more liberal members of Congress, but conservatives who really know Congress know the perils of looking too closely – Tom Daschle’s too nice, Ted Kennedy’s too tragic. With the GOP now controlling both the legislative and executive branches, picking on agency bureaucrats won’t be as much fun as it used to be. What to do?

Here in Maine, some of the more conservative Web and radio outlets are trying out a new arch-enemy, a force so pernicious its very existence threatens the republic. This cabal of iniquity is called – brace thyself, gentle reader – The Moderates.

Absurd but true. I’ve heard it with my own ears, read it with my own eyes – the new foe is moderation. The thesis goes something like this: Moderates believe the answers to many complex issues may lie somewhere between the extremes; moderates, therefore, do not believe in anything.

Of course, this is not just theory. Maine’s two most famous moderates are Sens. Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins. While the national consensus seems to be that these two estimable Maine women will have unprecedented clout in a government so balanced, in a nation so clearly clustering toward the middle, the view of Maine’s conservative Web chatters and radio talkers is that they should be shunned for not adopting views they did not hold when they ran for office and for not making themselves utterly irrelevant now.

It gets better. The primary target of these attackers is Sen. Collins, presumably because she faces re-election in two years. Maine’s junior senator is warned that she, too, will be subject to the withering blows the right heaped upon Sen. Snowe in her recent re-election campaign. You remember, the campaign in which Sen. Snowe faced no primary opposition and won in a landslide of historic proportions.

The lesson here for the foundering Clinton-haters perhaps is that spending eight years focusing unrelenting and obsessive hatred upon one person may not be the best thing for the old mental health. For everyone else, enjoy the inauguration, relish the peaceful transition and, above all, as you celebrate, do so in moderation.

Bruce Kyle is the assistant editorial page editor for the Bangor Daily News.