And another thing …

No one would plop 30 pounds of stones on the top of a car before driving around town or on the highway. Besides what those stones could do to the car’s paint job, it’s too dangerous for other drivers and police might consider the behavior more than a little reckless. But motorists who pull out of their driveways with three or four inches of ice and snow on their car roofs are presenting the same danger, as several letter writers have recently noted. Eventually, the snow and ice fall off, often at high speeds on the highway, and slam into other vehicles, possibly damaging the vehicles and leading to even worse accidents.

Of course it’s an onerous job to get the snow off the top of a car before driving to work in the morning, but please do it anyway. Either that, or the letter writers will get together and persuade legislators to make car-top cleaning a law. And lawmakers are experts on snow jobs.

Tom Alciere, the former state representative from New Hampshire, offered the following intriguing observation as he stepped down when it was discovered he advocated killing police officers and beating women. “One common question is how did I ever get elected,” he wrote in a farewell e-mail. “I simply planted yard signs wherever I could get permission. People think they’re supposed to vote for me just because the sign says to. Then I smiled and waved to them as they arrived at the polls. So they voted for me.” Thank goodness his departure will put an end to this kind of shallow politics.

Lawmakers already have another vehicle-safety subject to consider in two bills that would ban the use of cell phones. However, a state safety official reports that there are no figures on whether cell-phone use causes a higher number of accidents in Maine, compared with drivers without phones or those with headsets. Lawmakers, then, may have drawn their conclusions before doing their homework. In the writing trade, that’s what’s known as phoning it in.

In describing to reporters how his proposal for a five-cent deposit/return on cigarette butts would result in less litter, Rep. Joseph Brooks invited pundits and the public to concoct all the butt-oriented one-liners their imaginations could devise. Many readers of this newspaper have taken up the challenge, with most drawing a link between the anatomic allusion of the bill and the thought process of its sponsor. In the boxing trade, that’s what’s known as leading with your chin.

Although most laws enacted by the Legislature don’t take effect until 90 days after adjournment, usually sometime in September, the state Constitution does allow for emergency legislation to kick in immediately after passage, provided there is a clear need for the “preservation of the public peace, health and safety.” One such emergency bill being considered by the Legislature this session would allow for the sales of liquor from cooler-equipped carts roaming Maine golf courses. Feel free to concoct your own one-liner.