In Theaters

SAY IT ISN’T SO. 93 minutes, R, directed by James B. Rogers, written by Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow.

“Say It Isn’t So” is Hollywood’s latest film to splash about in cinema’s ever-expanding cesspool, but fans of fornication and flatulence should think twice before taking part in the bath.

The film is being touted as a Bobby and Peter Farrelly flick (“Dumb and Dumber,” “Me, Myself & Irene,” “There’s Something About Mary”), but the prominence of their names in the film’s print and television ads is nothing more than a misleading marketing ploy meant to entice audiences into seeing the film. Indeed, while the Farrellys did produce this meandering hike through the hicks, they didn’t write or direct it – and it shows.

The director is James B. Rogers, a protege of the Farrellys who served as assistant director on a number of Farrelly films. Apparently, Rogers wasn’t much of a student. While his film does have its rousing moments, it’s mostly an unfunny bore, an exasperating raunchfest whose taboo subject – incest – is so badly mishandled, fans of gross-and-grosser comedies might walk away disappointed.

The film stars Chris Klein (“Election,” “American Pie”) as Gilly, a slack-jawed animal control worker from Indiana who falls hard for Jo (Heather Graham) after she cuts off part of his ear during a not-so-routine haircut.

After consummating their relationship and moving headlong into marriage, Gilly and Jo learn that they’re actually brother and sister, a fact that delights Jo’s white-trash mother, Valdine (Sally Field), a boozy shrew who would rather see Jo dump Gilly and run off with the evil – yet terrifically wealthy – Jack (Eddie Cibrian).

As the film’s trailer and television ads so kindly reveal, Gilly eventually learns he and Jo aren’t actually brother and sister. But with Jo now waxing bikini lines in Beaver, Ore. (isn’t that funny?), Gilly must fight his way across the country and back into her heart – a feat that will prove monstrously difficult since the vodka-swilling Valdine is determined to see Jo marry Jack at all costs.

Unlike “There’s Something About Mary,” “Dumber and Dumber” and “Me, Myself & Irene,” “Say It Isn’t So” doesn’t feel liberated by its bad taste and handful of “shocking moments.” Instead, it feels burdened by them.

Lingering over the production is a sense of desperation, a feeling that if the filmmakers can’t best “Mary’s” infamous hair gel scene, then they didn’t do their jobs and their film won’t be a hit (in fact, “So” bombed at last weekend’s box office). Thus, audiences are treated to a wealth of overcompensation, including a double amputee who’s constantly losing his legs, a drooling stroke victim covered in bees, and a cow who gets punched where no rooster has ever crowed.

Few at my screening laughed during any of these moments – we could have been at a wake – suggesting that, in the end, there really was something about “Mary,” a movie whose giddy tone and playful humor make “Say It Isn’t So” look almost sadistic in comparison.

Grade: D+

On Video

TIME REGAINED. 162 minutes, R, directed by Raul Ruiz, written by Gilles Taurand and Ruiz.

There are probably more challenging undertakings one could assume than mounting a three-hour production of Marcel Proust’s “Time Regained,” the sixth and final volume in his beast of a novel, “Remembrance of Things Past.” For instance, jump-starting the Dow comes to mind.

However, from a literary perspective, it’s difficult to imagine many novels as unsuitable for the screen as this, a work whose construction is so circular in nature and whose themes, characters and ideas exist so firmly within the realm of a deeply internal landscape that the idea of bringing it to the screen seems downright absurd.

It’s almost a shock, then, to see how well Chilean director Raul Ruiz has done in capturing the essence of “Time Regained”; just as in Proust’s work, Ruiz’s film is rich in texture, sumptuous in its images, beautifully surreal.

The film, which begins in 1922 with Proust (Marcello Mazzarella) on his deathbed, stars Catherine Deneuve as Odette de Crecy, Emmanuelle Beart as Gilberte, Vincent Perez as Morel and John Malkovich, of all people, as Charlus. It isn’t for anyone with a passing knowledge of the French novelist’s work or his allegorical search for truth.

But those aficionados of Proust will revel in how Ruiz plays with memory to intertwine the real characters in Proust’s life – those ridiculous, chattering, early 20th century class archetypes he found at swanky salons – with the fictional characters that spark his novel.

There’s no story told in “Time Regained” just images and moments inspired by the book and Proust’s life. For some, that will prove maddening. For others, those who want to be challenged by the ambitious undertaking of an ambitious work, it’ll be sublime.

Grade: B+

KESTREL’S EYE. 85 minutes, no rating, directed by Mikael Kristersson.

Mikael Kristersson’s excellent documentary, “Kestrel’s Eye,” follows the life of a family of kestrel falcons living high in the walls of a 13th century Swedish church.

It’s wonderful, a film that uses an array of hidden, remote-controlled cameras and microphones to capture the day-to-day world of these birds as they hunt for food, mate in midair, raise their offspring from chicks to full-grown adults, all while observing life in the small village above which they live.

Beginning in late fall and extending deep into spring, the film, which will remind some of Claude Nuridsany and Marie Perennou’s marvelous film, “Microcosmos,” is an intimate view of a world we see, but never truly see. Without the aid of narration, scripted dialogue, multimillion-dollar special effects, overpaid actors or overhyped directors, “Kestrel’s Eye” is bare bones, but blessedly so.

In its hands-off minimalism, it allows the kestrels to make their own busy, chattering comments on the funerals that take place in the cemetery below them, the parades that move through the otherwise quiet streets, the grooming of the church’s immaculate grounds, and even, at one point, on a wedding that takes place directly below them in the church’s courtyard.

Here, in the film’s one truly hilarious moment, the kestrels turn their backs to the proceeding and comment on them (not to mention on the bride and groom) in the most unpleasant way imaginable.

At their core, movies are supposed to take us into worlds we’ve never before seen or experienced. At their best, they allow us into lives that surprise and startle even if, going into the film, we mistakenly believed they were familiar. Though many of today’s mainstream directors, writers and actors have lost that philosophy of film, “Kestrel’s Eye” ignites it and makes it true again.

It’s an unforgettable film that shouldn’t be missed.

Grade: A

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays in Style, Thursdays in the scene, Tuesdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5” and Thursdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5:30” on WLBZ-2 and WCSH-6. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

THE VIDEO CORNER

Renting a video? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores.

Kestrel’s Eye – A

102 Dalmatians – B+

Red Planet – C+

Rugrats in Paris – B+

Time Regained – B+

Charlie’s Angels – B+

The Legend of

Drunken Master – B+

Lucky Number – D-

Remember the Titans – D

Almost Famous – A

The Crew – D

The 6th Day – C+

The Tao of Steve – B+

Meet the Parents – B+

Wonder Boys – A

Bedazzled – B-

Lost Souls – F

Nurse Betty – C+

Beautiful – D

Book of Shadows:

Blair Witch II – F

The Original Kings

of Comedy – B+

The Watcher – F

The Adventures of

Rocky and Bullwinkle – D

Bless the Child – D

Bring it On – B+

Get Carter – D-

Woman on Top – B+

Urban Legends:

Final Cut – D-

Whipped – F-

Cecil B. Demented – C

Dinosaur – B

Dr. T and the Women – D

The Eyes of Tammy

Faye – B+

Jesus’ Son – A-

Solomon and Gaenor – B+

What Lies Beneath – B

Bait – F

Battlefield Earth – F-

Coyote Ugly – C-

Disney’s The Kid – B+

Me, Myself & Irene – C+

Autumn in New York – F

Hollow Man – C-

The Art of War – F

The Exorcist: The Version

You’ve Never Seen – A

Godzilla 2000 – B+

The Cell -B

Road Trip – D-

Saving Grace – A-

Where the Money Is – C+

The Virgin Suicides – B+

Loser – C-

The Road to El Dorado – B-

Shower – B+

Scary Movie – B-