On the defensive for sabotaging a state budget the Appropriations Committee worked out in public hearings in broad daylight, some lawmakers who favor the Senate’s top secret version now are circulating unsubstantiated accusations that the Appropriations Committee is threatening to retaliate by not funding programs for blind children and battered women. Members of the Appropriations Committee could not be reached for comment as they reportedly were out mugging elderly widows.

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Some 3,951 black bears were ”harvested” in the Maine woods last year, a startling increase of roughly 50 percent since 1998. Despite much public concern about why so many bears are being killed, the Legislature has rejected all proposals to restrict the widespread use of dogs and bait by hunters, saying it first wants to check out the Appropriation Committee’s alibi.

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Elsewhere in racketeering news, the national Italian-American Society is suing HBO, claiming ”The Sopranos,” that hit mobster soap opera, is demeaning and reinforces negative stereotypes. In response to the lawsuit, the network’s mouthpieces say any mug who don’t like the show is just asking to get himself appropriated.

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After a solid day of getting pounded for planning to scrap salmonella testing of meat used in school lunch programs, the Bush administration reversed itself and blamed the entire uproar on the unauthorized actions of an unnamed ”low-level” Agriculture Department employee. Many questions remain about this incident, including – for a certain Agriculture Department employee – what’s below ”low.”

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Carbon dioxide emissions. Workplace safety rules. Arsenic in drinking water. If anybody sees Ralph Nader, kindly ask him to explain what he meant by that ”no difference” remark.

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Census 2000 held no surprises for Maine – everybody already knew the state’s total population hardly grew at all but did shift substantially to the south. On mystery remains, however. Just how do all those empty U-Hauls gets back up north?