Event to help battered males Seminar hopes to break silence

PORTLAND – The Battered Men’s Helpline will hold its first conference about male victims of domestic abuse at 7 p.m. Friday, May 18, at the University of Southern Maine’s Payson Smith Hall.

Guest speakers will include Cathy Young, columnist for The Boston Globe and author of “Cease Fire: Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality;” and David Burroughs of the Forum for Equity and Fairness in Family Issues and a member of the Delaware Domestic Violence Task Force.

Also speaking will be Mary Cleary, founder of AMEN, a group that provides a help line, support services and information for male victims of domestic abuse in Ireland; and Richard Davis, a retired police officer from Massachusetts, an instructor in criminal justice and domestic violence at Quincy College at Plymouth, Mass., and an author.

A nonprofit organization funded by volunteers and individual contributors, BMH offers a 24-hour help line; referrals to mental health professionals; support groups where abused men can share their experiences, if they choose, and gain strength and knowledge from one another; and advocacy and assistance in understanding the legal system and obtaining protection from abuse orders.

The help line has received approximately 25 calls a month from all over the country since the organization was founded last October by Jan Brown of Harmony, whose husband was abused by his former wife for 13 years.

“I knew he couldn’t be the only one who has suffered from female violence – it’s time the other face of domestic violence is recognized,” Brown said last week.

With battered women’s shelters referring callers to BMH, the group has come into its own, she pointed out.

Members of the board of directors and advisory board have made real strides in educating people that domestic violence is a gender-neutral problem, Brown said.

Packets containing news articles about the issue and the results of studies contradicting the popular conception that violence is primarily perpetrated by males were delivered to legislators, police, mental health facilities, District Court judges and counseling centers across the state, she said.

Also, BMH pamphlets, which include the help line number, information about the organization and ways to tell if someone has been abused, were sent to churches, domestic violence centers, sexual assault units and Pine Tree Legal Assistance Inc.

People have received the information with open minds.

“They’ve said, ‘Yes, I know what you’re talking about. I have a brother, an uncle or a friend who has been abused,'” Brown said.

The group’s goal is to raise enough funds to build a shelter for battered men.

“But there’s nowhere to go to find money. According to my research, no grants are available for male victims – everything’s women and children,” Brown said.

A number of studies indicate that women initiate one-quarter of all domestic assaults, men initiate another quarter and that the rest are the result of mutual antagonism.

But the statistics have only fueled the debate between battered men’s advocates and battered women’s advocates.

For their part, men’s groups say society is reluctant to acknowledge the female potential for violence. They point out that law enforcement statistics are skewed because many men are embarrassed to report their abuse.

Many believe female violence against men is mainly in retaliation to male violence. Others note that most women are arrested for minor acts like slapping or hair pulling, while men perpetrate a pattern of intimidation.

The help line number is 1-877-643-1120, access code 0757; e-mail, help@noexcuse4abuse.org. For a support group in southern Maine, call 791-7823. In Bangor, call the help line.