Consider some great belated gifts for Mother’s Day

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There are those who think that a gift for every occasion, including Mother’s Day, can be found at Woodworker’s Warehouse, if mothers and others would just appreciate that fact. In her 17 years as a mother my wife has earned every tool there that chops, slices, dices, drills or chips, bless her heart, and I am just the man to get it for her. That being said, the things that most women want for Mother’s Day and every other day, do not require a trip to the mall. Try any and all of these gifts for the mother who has everything else:

. A home free of the threat of violence and the poison of abuse;

. A call in her honor to your state senator or representative in favor of the Violence Intervention and Prevention Act now before the Maine Legislature, the passage of which would be a Mother’s Day gift from the state of Maine. The number for your state representative is 1-800-423-2900, and for your state senator is 1-800-423-6900;

. A gift in her name to the local shelter for battered women;

. A gift in her name to the local shelter for homeless teens, because a community’s care of a child anywhere is a gift to mothers everywhere;

. A gift in her name to an organization for AIDS victims in Africa, where millions of children have been orphaned by the disease, and millions of mother have died from it;

. Undivided attention when it is asked for;

. A son and/or son-in-law who truly respects women;

. A toilet seat that automatically goes back down;

. Her annual mammogram;

. Flowers and bravos after her annual mammogram;

. Understanding how Mel Gibson’s character in the movie “What Women Want” really knew what women want – he just listened;

. An adolescent who wears a seatbelt every time he or she borrows the family car;

. A child who does not smoke;

. A spouse who does not smoke;

. All the Zyban, nicotine patches and support she needs until she quits smoking;

. Sale of any tobacco stock you own, because lung cancer kills more women than breast cancer;

. A walk hand in hand with someone every night;

. Her annual Pap smear, done by a doctor with gentle hands and a warm speculum;

. Flowers after that, too;

. Profound respect for the hard work of pregnancy and labor, and for the courage it takes to do that more than once;

. No stupid jokes when she turns 40, or 50;

. A warmed car every morning next winter;

. Losing arguments to her with grace;

. Concede the final word to her, at least half the time;

. Spend Saturday mornings with her listening to National Public Radio’s “All Things Considered” from 8 a.m. to 10 a.m.;

. Keep any guns in the home unloaded and locked up;

. If you are a man who gets angry when she talks to you about your drinking, has tried to cut back on your drinking and been unsuccessful, thinks about having an “eye-opener” in the morning, and feels guilty about your drinking, go to Alcoholics Anonymous because you need help;

. Someone ever day to think of sending her flowers;

. Her hand held unexpectedly in public by her teen-age child;

. Adult children who want to come home to visit;

. Teen-age children whose friends like to come to her home because they like her;

. A family karaoke night;

. A family who loves to hear her laugh;

. Men in her life who stand up for women;

. Men in her life who hold her chair at the dinner table, take their hats off inside, and who care enough about her to be classy in her presence;

. Children who always want to be held by her when their times are hard;

. A husband whose heart still jumps when he sees her, even after 20 years of marriage;

. A doctor who listens to women carefully and respectfully;

. Her own set of tools;

. Satisfy one of her crazy whims, at least once in a while;

. A cordless 18 volt Porter Cable drill, a 3 horsepower Delta cabinet saw, a 12-inch Makita thickness planer, and a gift certificate to the Lee Nielsen handplane factory in Warren, Maine (no, really, that is what she wants).

Erik Steele, D.O. is the administrator for emergency services at Eastern Maine Medical Center and is on the staff for emergency department coverage at six hospitals in the Bangor Daily News coverage area.