And another thing …

Following the Supreme Court decision Tuesday that the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard is, duh, in Maine, many indignant New Hampshire workers continue to grumble about not getting anything for the income tax they pay here. On Thursday, a New Hampshire woman whose boat capsized in a border region pond was saved when Maine’s new E-911 system was able to pinpoint her location within seconds of her frantic cellphone call, something the antiquated system in her tax-free home state would have taken an hour or more to accomplish. Not that we’re keeping score or anything.

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Earl Rowe of Winslow wanted to raffle off his butcher shop at $50 a ticket, but after state authorities advised him against operating an illegal game of chance, he converted the raffle into a literary contest – an essay or poem describing why one would want the business – with a $50 entry fee. Here’s a haiku (three lines of five, seven and five syllables) composed for the occasion:

The slaughterhouse reeks

Blood and gristle underfoot

Fifty bucks wasted

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The hurricane season officially began yesterday and the American Red Cross worried aloud that coastal residents in New England are particularly ill-prepared for disaster. No offense intended toward the Red Cross and the good work it does, but we do take exception to the view that folks up this way are complacent. It’s just hard to get too cranked up about tropical storms when you’re still wearing mittens and stocking caps.

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Rep. John Michael, independent of Auburn, is fighting hard for his bill allowing girls to play for boys’ sports teams, saying the prevalent school policy of segregated teams hinders the ability of girls to fully develop their athletic skills. Since this is the same Rep. Michael who was publicly censured by the House early this session for bullying two women lawmakers, it’s fair to wonder whether he’s seeking equal opportunity or payback.

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Speaking of sports, the dramatic increase in the popularity of ice dancing has led officials of that sport to clamp down on couples that inject lascivious moves into their routines, lest the sport degrade into a peep show on ice. And just why do these officials think ice dancing has become so popular?

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Speaking of lascivious moves, authorities in an Arizona community are fighting a losing battle against an outbreak of public sex acts. Dozens of such acts have been reported at swimming pools, parking lots and park benches, and lights installed to curtail the frisky behavior have been bashed with hammers and baseball bats. The community? Sun City West, average age 73.