VIP visas

Imagine you’re standing in a long, slow-moving line at the post office, bank or supermarket and some self-important lout elbows to the front, taking cuts and demanding immediate service. Then imagine the postal worker, teller or cashier, instead of firmly directing the boor to the back of the line, hitting him up for a tip and cheerfully providing the service.

Such a scenario might be too galling for real life, but it’s now business as usual at the Immigration and Naturalization Service, where a program was initiated last week to eliminate long, slow-moving lines for work visa applicants – at least applicants, or employers, who can afford it.

For a fee of $1,000, “premium processing” handles work visa applications within 15 days, rather than the usual 60 to 90 days. The program does not, thankfully, promise approval of the visa, but it does promise a prompt decision, with a money-back guarantee.

The idea behind the program is to speed action on visas for foreigners employers want to bring to the United States to help fill the worker shortage, a shortage that may be real but is also almost certainly grossly exaggerated. Originally conceived as a way to deal with the pressing need for scientists, engineers and others in technical fields, the initial scope of the program was expanded to include athletes, performers, executives, agricultural and service workers. By the end of the summer, it is expected that the program will cover all applicants seeking to work in the United States, but not seeking permanent residence.

That is, all applicants who can afford to tip the INS a grand, or, more likely, who have prospective employers who can afford it. That means the software giant but not the start-up, the hotel chain but not the family-run inn. The small businesses most in need of help during a labor shortage are the not helped by this program.

INS officials defend this truly bad idea by saying small business and their prospective foreign workers eventually will benefit because the money generated will go to hire more staff to process all visa applications, eventually speeding up turnaround time for everyone.

Given the generous spending increases Congress has approved for INS’ border enforcement, not to mention the enormous surplus it says is sloshing around the Treasury, selling cuts to the front of the line is a tacky way of dealing with a processing backlog – not to mention the straight-face issues regarding the pledge that those who pony up an extra $1,000 won’t increase their chances of approval. Imagine the Statue of Liberty not with a torch to light the way but with an outstretched palm to be greased.