Those who insist that the standard fare of newspapers is too grim are obviously not reading carefully enough.

Just last Thursday, for instance, there appeared in this newspaper’s “50 Plus” advertising supplement a headline that was nothing less than inspiring, a headline that should remind all senior citizens that there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome, so long as you strive to walk the walk.

It read: “Older travelers: footless and fancy free”

If you were lucky enough to have stumbled upon that priceless gaffe, you probably enjoyed a good chuckle around the breakfast table. We certainly did here at the paper, I can tell you, since the error provided us one of those rare opportunities in the business to laugh at ourselves without the threat of a lawsuit to spoil the mood.

When the snickers finally died down around the city room, though, I couldn’t help but wonder what E.B. White might have made of that humorous headline mistake. White, who died in 1985, was for decades the witty though invisible hand behind many of those clever little “newsbreaks” that serve as popular column fillers in The New Yorker magazine. From his saltwater farm in Brooklin, the renowned essayist would dash off brief, wry comments in response to comical errors and inept phrasings gleaned from newspapers and magazines around the country. As a reader of the Bangor Daily News, White had a steady supply of funny material deposited on his doorstep each morning – enough material, in fact, that the BDN long enjoyed the dubious honor of appearing in The New Yorker nearly as often as the bonehead offerings from The New York Times and The Los Angeles Times.

Marshall Stone, a former managing editor of the BDN, was so proud of these self-effacing contributions that he preserved some of them in the newspaper’s library some 20 years ago. He called it “Our NY’er file,” and believed that the blunders revealed a certain Down East ambience that urban sophisticates found charmingly irresistible – “a largesse of nuance,” if you will. When one of our writers boldly used that very phrase in an arts review, in fact, The New Yorker commented that it thought it saw “a largesse of nuance” once, and it was something big and cerulean blue.

The following is a BDN correction from 1975 as it appeared in the NY’er, with the magazine’s comment attached: “A story in the June 21 Washington County edition concerning a vocational educational bill contained two errors. It incorrectly stated that Charles Popham is director of rural area sex, when it should have stated that Charlene Popham is director of Rural Area Six of the vocational program authorized by the legislature.” – O.K., but who is the director of rural area sex?

Then there was this, from a BDN story of 1981: “Fifty percent of suicides have seen physicians within 30 days of their act. However, that is not the only reason for suicides.” – Yeah, but we know what you mean.

Under the magazine’s heading, “Most Fascinating Incorrect Story of the Week,” was this gem: “A story on the County Page in the Feb. 5 issue of the NEWS incorrectly stated that Mrs. Germaine Michaud was backing out of her driveway when an airborne car hurtled over Mrs. Michaud’s car. Mrs. Michaud was preparing to drive forward out of her driveway, but was still in the driveway when the accident occurred, according to police reports.”

A correction reprinted without NY’er comment – it hardly needed any – read as follows: ” ‘Caligula’ is the name of the play to be presented at the University of Maine at Fort Kent, March 25-27, not ‘Celiguls,’ as reported in Saturday’s Aroostook County edition (nor “Caliguls,’ ‘Celigule,’ Caligules,’ or ‘Culigus,’ all of which appeared in the story.) Also, the name of the play’s author is Albert Camus, rather than Albert Campus, as reported. And the name of the person playing the lead role is David Wylie, rather than David Wylis. Among other members of the cast are Vivian Bond and Wendy Kindred, whose names were spelled incorrectly. Otherwise, the story was essentially correct.”

The following is a town meeting notice that made its way into the magazine: “The date of annual balloting for town officials and warrant articles was set for the first Friday in March, the annual town meeting to be the following Saturday. The change caused a bit of confusion when one woman claimed the first Friday in March might fall on a Saturday.” – Trust a woman to cut right through to the heart of the matter.

Even the late outdoor writer, Bud Leavitt, took a NY’er ribbing in 1981 when he wrote in his column: “Cat House Flattened: Fred Cyr is one of those truly rare individuals with hardly an enemy. The man’s unusual. Around 4 o’clock in last Saturday morning’s sub-zero temperature, fire broke out and wiped out Fred’s business. Fred Cyr was an Arctic Cat dealer in Greenville. He operated The Cat House and there is hardly a snowmobiler alive who has not asked this man for a hand – and failed to get it.” – Could be there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the line.

An unidentified BDN columnist made the NY’er years ago with this less-than-elegant paraphrase: “Carl Sandburg said it. He wrote when fog shuts out the land, it is like a pussy-footing cat laying down a paw.” – And then revised it.

Finally, a bit of quirky BDN editing landed Dr. Donohue’s syndicated “Your Health” advice column onto the NY’er hallowed pages in 1982. A woman reader had asked Dr. Donohue whether it was medically risky for she and the young man she met in college to be married, considering that their maternal grandmothers were first cousins. The following is Dr. Donohue’s sage advice, with a BDN twist: “This is a type of question that cannot be answered from current medical knowledge. Close relatives who have offspring do increase the chances of passing on bad as well as good genes of the family. Since there is no hemophilia, inherited anemias, or other hereditary diseases in your family tree, you have some assurance that your children would not have these problems.

“Apparently, no diseases. But don’t, for heaven’s sake, take this as an endorsement for using oven cleaners for meatloafs or anything else. They contain harmful ingredients. Try not to substitute Bon Ami for baking soda. Keep your harmful substances separated from your cooking materials. I wonder what the dinner table comments were about your “spiced up’ meatloaf.” – Next question.

Now, who ever said newspapers only print bad news?