In theaters

EVOLUTION. Directed by Ivan Reitman. Written by David Diamond, David Weissman, and Don Jakoby. 103 minutes. PG-13.

For some, Ivan Reitman’s “Evolution” will serve as a confirmation of sorts, a movie that’s so bad and ultimately so stupid it suggests what a handful of scientists, Darwinians and armchair atheists have believed for years: Perhaps we really did crawl out of a bog.

To be sure, this film is hardly divine. Slowly paced and weirdly unfunny, given the talent involved, it ambles along like a downtrodden troglodyte until its final moments, when its characters gather to save the world from alien infestation, only to find themselves hosing down a giant alien sphincter with Head & Shoulders shampoo.

Frankly, I’d rather scratch away the flakes with better writing, better performances, sharper direction and more than one or two laughs sandwiched between the mold. But since “Evolution” is never anything more than a lazy, timid piece of mimicry that strains to recall Reitman’s best movie, “Ghostbusters,” that’s obviously hoping for too much.

The plot, such as it is, follows a team of scientists (David Duchovny, Julianne Moore, Orlando Jones) and their dumb sidekick (Seann William Scott) fighting against the alien bacteria rapidly evolving into a series of gruesome monsters after a meteor strikes the Earth. Cells split, a species evolves, people get eaten – rinse and repeat.

Throughout, Reitman, working from a script by David Diamond, David Weissman and Don Jokoby, isn’t content to just evoke “Ghostbusters.” He also pilfers from “The Blob,” “The Planet of the Apes,” “King Kong,” “Godzilla,” “Starship Troopers,” “Jurassic Park,” “Mars Attacks,” and the entire oeuvre of 1950s gloom-and-doom sci-fi cinema.

The decision not to create anything new proves especially frustrating since “Evolution” has an extremely likable cast, whose talents are wasted. Indeed, while everyone here seems up for a good time – Jones and Duchovny in particular – the script asks nothing of them but a bit of charm, a few throwaway smiles and some silly pratfalls from Moore.

The utter lack of jokes is stunning, but where “Evolution” truly takes a dive is in its cheap special effects, which suggests the art form isn’t evolving; instead, it’s regressing. At my screening, which was packed, it was so quiet and still, it was as if we were watching a documentary on the contents of a petri dish. But since that statement is probably too harsh, inflammatory and unfair, allow me to apologize right now – no offense meant to the petri dish.

Grade: D-

On Video and DVD

O BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU? Directed by Joel Coen, written by Ethan Coen and Joel Coen. Based on Homer’s “The Odyssey.” 103 minutes. PG-13.

Who else but Ethan and Joel Coen could pull off a film that melds elements of Homer’s “The Odyssey,” Preston Sturges’ “Sullivan’s Travels,” Victor Fleming’s “The Wizard of Oz,” and music that recalls the best of Robert Johnson?

Not many, but then the Coen brothers aren’t like many writers or directors working in Hollywood today – which, of course, is part of their appeal. Their latest, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” directed by Joel from his and Ethan’s script, is a fun, well-acted, character-driven film peppered with so many literary, cinematic and musical references, a good deal of its enjoyment comes from spotting its influences.

In the film, George Clooney is Ulysses Everett McGill, an escaped convict from Depression-era Mississippi who hits the road running with two fellow prisoners chained to his side: Delmar O’Donnel (Tim Blake Nelson) and Pete Hogwallop (John Turturro). Dashing through fields of tobacco, the men eventually come upon a railroad track, where, with the help of a blind man who sees into their future, they begin their bizarre odyssey with the police close at hand.

Along the way, Homeric interludes ensue: John Goodman’s one-eyed Bible salesman is a nice nod at Homer’s Cyclops; the three singing women the men meet at a stream are Homer’s Sirens; and the main thrust of the story – Everett’s journey back to his wife, Penny (Holly Hunter) – mirrors Odysseus’ ultimate goal in “The Odyssey.” If your Greek isn’t up to par, it doesn’t matter – the Coens only use “The Odyssey” as a loose framework for their film and not as a rigid blueprint.

With Charles Derning as the politician Pappy O’Daniel, “The Practice’s” Michael Badalucco in a hilarious turn as George “Babyface” Nelson, and Chris Thomas King as the bluesman Tommy Johnson, a man who, like Robert Johnson, claims he’s sold his soul to the devil to be a better musician, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” is a Southern fried pastiche underscored with the ripe fruits of pop culture.

Its romanticized view of the South may feel like cheap condescension, but since myth is the point of this film – and not realism – the Coens nevertheless get away with it all.

Grade: A-

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays in Style, Thursdays in the scene, Tuesdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5” and Thursdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5:30” on WLBZ-2 and WCSH-6. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com