THE COLOR OF ABSENCE: 12 STORIES ABOUT LOSS AND HOPE, edited by James Howe, Atheneum Books for Young Readers, New York, 2001, 237 pages, $16.

I WILL REMEMBER YOU: A GUIDEBOOK THROUGH GRIEF FOR TEENS, by Laura Dower, Scholastic Inc., New York, 2001, 211 pages, $10.95.

It’s tempting to think of the teen years as a carefree interlude before the burdens and responsibilities of adulthood. However, heartbreaking news stories of school shootings and fatal car accidents should serve as reminders that many youngsters suffer devastating losses. In a society where even grown-ups find death hard to contemplate or discuss, how do you help your son or daughter when he or she is bereft of a beloved parent or grandparent, a treasured friend or a cherished pet?

“I Will Remember You” by Laura Dower and “The Color of Absence,” edited by James Howe, are truly valuable resources.

Dower conceived of “I Will Remember You” as a teen’s guidebook through grief. With chapters organized around the stages of loss and the emotions common to them, it is straightforward and nonjudgmental. The tone conveys a loving balance of intimacy and respect.

Traditions from many world

cultures and religions and an eclectic assortment of ideas for therapeutic options are offered. Young people are encouraged to keep grief journals and given a wide range of writing prompts. Physical activities such as in-line skating, swimming, punching a pillow and dancing are recommended. There are also ways to celebrate the memory of the lost one, such as serving his or her favorite meal with the deceased’s favorite music playing in the background.

Dr. Elena Lister, a psychiatrist and adolescent grief counselor, reviewed therapy material and contributed an introduction and commentary. From the accuracy and sensitivity of her insights, it is easy to see that her experiences with bereavement have been personal as well as professional. She lost a very young daughter to cancer.

Throughout the book teens tell of their own experiences in eloquent poetry and prose. Hayley, 14, who lost a 3-year-old brother, asks people not to be put off by her emotions. Missy, 18, recalls bittersweet memories of her grandfather. Many youngsters will find soul mates through this sharing.

A rich appendix of resources lists helpful books, movies, music, organizations and Web sites. Teens are encouraged to share good books with friends and family. “The Color of Absence” is great for this. Its 12 short stories were created by authors highly skilled in writing for a young adult audience. Each creates a palpable setting with vivid and emotion evoking characters.

In the short story, “What Are You Good At?” Cooter is reunited with his dying father. Even as he must adjust to a harsh reality, he is able to find moments of real happiness in their time together. In “Enchanted Night,” Mariah is unable to play the flute for her father’s funeral. “Red Seven” concerns the burial of a dog that had brought sunshine and healing into the life of a family struggling with a member’s depression. In “Shoofly Pie,” Mattie, working at a restaurant to help cope with her mother’s death, is able to reach out to grieving fellow workers.

Uniting these stories is the understanding that teens’ experiences differ poignantly from those of other life phases. In the introduction, Howe writes, “And so with each loss, we come to cry for every loss. Crying for a lost friend, we cry for a loss of innocence as well, for the belief that friendship is forever, that love will endure. When we mourn a death, we mourn our own mortality. And with each step we take toward adulthood, we let go of the children we once were and will never be again.”