The people you have to know are Faye Hamilton and Curtis and Cindy Scott, if you want the ultimate low-cost, high-enjoyment Maine river weekend. Trust me.

The problem is you have to drive to Vanceboro. I know. Where is Vanceboro? Vanceboro is north of Lincoln on Route 6, near the Canadian border. But wait.

Faye runs the East Musquash Cabins, way up there on Route 6 in Topsfield. You get your whole gang together, maybe 30 people, and give her a call a few weeks in advance. She has four cabins she will rent you per night. They are not the Ritz. It’s sort of like indoor camping, but they are hard on the Musquash Lake and just as comfortable as you want. Plan a Saturday night cookout on the lake. She will supply the grill. Bring your own food. Save a fortune.

You don’t have to take 30 people. You could have a cozy weekend, just the two of you. Ask for Cabin No. 1, the honeymoon suite.

Trust me.

You get there Friday night, have a miniparty and go to bed. On Saturday morning you drive 25 miles north and meet Curtis and Cindy at C and C Canoe. (C and C, get it?) You have already made arrangements with them to rent paddles, vests, canoes, kayaks, battleships, whatever you want. Forget tying the boats on your roof racks and driving up there. Let them do the work. Don’t call them on the fire department emergency phone. They do not like it. Neither do the 35 volunteer firefighters who have fire alarms set off by your call.

Trust me.

I am a little drifty on the cost but it includes transportation back from Little Falls to their yard, where your cars rest while you are on the river. While you are packing your lemonade in your cooler, they are taking the canoe to the banks of the St. Croix River.

In case you forgot, the St. Croix River is the international boundary between eastern Maine and southwestern New Brunswick. The river flows south from the Chiputneticook Lakes to Passamaquoddy Bay.

The area of interest to most canoeists (that’s you) is the 33-mile wilderness from the control gate at Vanceboro and St. Croix, New Brunswick, to Kelleyland at the Grand Falls hydro dam. The one-day trip is to Little Falls. It is primarily Class I and II rapids, with one Class III pitch. There is some flatwater. Since the flow is controlled, it is easily paddled from May until October.

This is the river you should learn on. If your sister Kate has talked about canoeing or kayaking a little mild white water, this is the place. The five-hour (we took six) day trip is from Vanceboro to Little Falls. The river is extremely warm and has numerous secluded spots for an afternoon lunch. If you can make a midweek trip you will have the river to yourself. If you hit it on a weekend in July, you will find yourself in the middle of a wet Mardi Gras.

You may take a little white water over the bow, but it is almost impossible to sink on this river. Almost. The entire trip is a languid excursion along the Canadian border (that’s it on your left) with your party going just as fast or as slow as you want.

Hit the river by 10 a.m. after a leisurely breakfast. Drift along checking for eagles. Fish if you have to. The fish would prefer you looked for eagles.

Arrive at Little Falls about 5 p.m. Then you have the option of shooting the falls (about 70 percent make it) or walking around to meet the trailer from C and C which will take you and your boat back to Vanceboro, which is an Indian word for “closed.”

You have to drive yourself back to Musquash Lake.

If you can stay awake, have the bonfire and the mass meal off the grill. Party till you drop. Bring a tent if you want; Faye doesn’t mind.

If you can find a better deal, I want to hear about it.

That’s cheaper than staying home.

Trust me.

Send complaints and compliments to Emmet Meara at emmetmeara@msn.com.