And another thing …

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time for Pawtucket, R.I., in order to cement relations with Belper, England, to give its sister city a 7-foot tall Fiberglas Mr. Potato Head – the most famous product of Pawtucket’s Hasbro Inc. – made to resemble the 18th-century jurist/philosopher William Blackstone, Belper’s most famous son. The cement came undone after just a few weeks when the citizens of Belper declared the statue a cultural and aesthetic blight on its historic downtown and banished it to a nearby American adventure theme park. If your office overlooks a certain Bangor park inhabited by an even taller piece of Fiberglas in the form of a certain fictional lumberjack, you’re probably thinking what we’re thinking.

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On the Maine cultural and aesthetic front, the Quarter Commission has nearly completed the arduous task of selecting a design for the state’s commemorative 25-cent piece that will be minted in 2003. After reviewing the 203 suggestions submitted by artistic-minded citizens – ranging from a whimsical cowboy riding a lobster to the usual suspects of familiar flora and fauna – the commission has picked four finalists it feels best combine an appealing representation of the state with the space limitations of the coin. The U.S. Mint has a say, but the ultimate decision will be made by Gov. King, who reportedly is leaning toward a design that includes the West Quoddy Head Lighthouse in Lubec at sunrise. Not the most imaginative choice, perhaps, but it is one way to get the governor to see Washington County.

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Maine loves its art, and to prove it, the state is spending $25,000 to restore an early 19th century portrait of George Washington. Of course, the restoration wouldn’t be necessary had the 11-foot-high painting, which the state borrowed from artist Thomas Spear in 1836 and never returned, not been stored and forgotten about for most of the late 20th century behind the door of a State House broom closet. The most serious damage to what state officials say is a precious and irreplaceable piece of Maine history? Doorknob abrasions.

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That restoration, by the way, is being done in Massachusetts – Maine has plenty of such shops, but apparently none are quite up to snuff in doorknob abrasion repair. In a similar vein, the Internal Revenue Service has awarded a $33.6 million contract for the redesign of its Web site to the consulting firm Accenture. Accenture is incorporated, by the way, in tax-haven Bermuda.

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It’s certainly shocking to learn that the games and contests run by McDonald’s have, for the last six years, been rigged – not by the fast-food company, but by the marketing, accounting and security firms hired to run them. It’s equally shocking, though, to learn that the fast-food company and the FBI knowingly allowed this $13-million scam to continue for the last year and a half to build a case against the perpetrators but without taking any steps to protect defrauded consumers. Now, McDonald’s says it will make amends by offering $10 million in instant-win games during Labor Day weekend. You deserve a break – eventually.

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According to a recent story in The Boston Globe, an increasing trend on many of the nation’s more free-wheeling college campuses is to offer courses in pornography – students watch dirty movies, read dirty books, look at dirty pictures and then analyze them as serious commentary on contemporary culture. Sort of gives a whole new meaning to that staple of final exams – the Blue Book.