Couple in Millinocket shares their home with four brothers

Donna and Michael Hakes of Millinocket are at the age when many couples begin thinking about simplifying their lives as a prelude to retirement. Instead, the Hakeses adopted four biological brothers last spring who range in age from 2 to 10 and shifted their focus to raising a second family.

Far from slowing down, Donna Hakes, 47, and her husband, a 55-year-old paper mill worker, now find themselves shuttling their sons to junior hockey practice and attending basketball games. They make the rounds to pediatricians and dentists, and get their brood to church at least once a week. The boys have a lot of energy, but Donna Hakes and her husband are meeting the challenge and are enjoying the experience.

“It’s really funny to watch the kids play,” Donna Hakes said. A person with a lifelong interest in children, Donna Hakes said she appreciates summer vacations more with her new family around.

On camping trips, “we jump on trampolines, float in the pool and spend time looking at the clouds, guessing what they are. It’s fun watching these kids, seeing what they do and seeing them play sports. We are so blessed to have them,” she added.

The decision to adopt Isaiah, 10, Zachariah, 8, Elijah-Michael, 3, and Noah-Paul, 2, came easily to the couple because they had been foster parents to the two older boys for four years. They brought Noah-Paul home from the hospital in February 1999 when he was 1 day old. Elijah-Michael came to their family five months after his baby brother arrived.

The couple also has a biological daughter who is 25 and a 23-year-old son whom they adopted as a child. They prayed and consulted their older children before deciding to adopt the brothers.

“We’re really pretty simple people. We really wouldn’t be doing anything different,” if they had more time, Donna Hakes said. “Mike and I are religious and we believe the boys are truly here for a reason,” she added. She credits her mother, Joan Dickinson, with providing support and baby-sitting, when needed.

Donna Hakes tries to help the boys retain positive memories of their biological parents. Such feelings help shore up self-esteem, she said. The boys’ mother has sent her sons homemade gifts, and Hakes has made sure pictures of their parents are in their “life books” – scrapbooks each boy keeps that tell their story from birth onward.

“The two oldest boys talk about their birth parents sometimes. They need to talk about that,” said Donna. “If they ever look them up, I want my kids to share that with me,” she added.

Isaiah has recalled some bad times with his biological family, but Hakes encourages him and his brothers to balance those thoughts with positive memories.

“My goal is to have them grow up to be productive people and good citizens. It does no good to hate their parents,” the adoptive mother said.

On a special day last May, Donna and Mike Hakes adopted all four boys in a court proceeding in Belfast. Then they threw a party.

“I rented a jumping room,” Hakes said. It is a structure filled with air that permits kids literally to bounce off its walls without fear of injury.

“All their friends came,” Hakes recalled. “We had food, games and so much fun,” Hakes said.

The fun went on all day and after dark. When everyone had gone home, the boys returned to the “jumping house” and “jumped and jumped out there long after dark. They were so excited,” Donna recalled.

She advises others to give adoption some thought. “It might be the right way to complete your family,” Donna Hakes said.