November 23, 2024
Sports

Novice football fans prefer ads instead of game

PITTSFIELD – When Kathy Brooks-Rock began inviting her friends to her annual Super Bowl party at her home, she thought the game started at 8.

Not knowing the kickoff time is just one indication that a Super Bowl party at Kathy’s isn’t going to be all about football.

Now don’t misunderstand: This group of friends does include two or three who follow, root for and enjoy football. One parent actually had a child who was a defensive lineman.

But, of the 12 guests around the Brooks-Rock television Sunday evening, two genuinely watched the game, Karen Wagner and Kathy’s husband, Dennis.

Nobody who attended wore a football jersey (or even red, white and blue) and there wasn’t a slice of pepperoni or a can of cheese to be found.

The buffet of food got a bigger “ooooo” than a great defensive hit.

The commercials got a heartier round of applause than a skillful tackle. This is definitely a group of people far more interested in the “party” than the reason for it.

Just to see how “on the ball” these partiers were, an informal poll suggested that, of the 12 people attending:

. Ten knew who was playing.

. Four could name the two starting quarterbacks.

. Two knew the definition of special teams. (Trudy Ferland clarified “That’s a team that is very, very nice.”)

All 12 could name each and every item on the food table.

It has to be admitted, however, that everyone was paying more attention to the actual game this year. “After September 11, it would be un-American not to root for the Patriots. They seem like apple pie and motherhood right now,” assessed Brooks-Rock, who continued to call half-time “intermission.”

Wagner simply announced, “I’m here to watch football.”

“What do you mean they can’t hold each other?” asked Ferland. “They can knock each other down and be really mean, but they can’t hold each other?”

(Ferland prays for ties so no one has to lose and then wants to give each player a certificate of participation.)

The group quickly adopted a rating system to judge the commercials, the announcers, even the referees.

The first to be condemned were the graphics. “I really prefer John Madden’s x’s and o’s,” said Wagner. When the flashy computer-generated graphics began showing military personnel, Brooks-Rock spoke out. “You can’t equate playing the Super Bowl with fighting a war,” she said. “We’re offended,” went up the cheer.

The graphics got a minus 25 score but Madden got a respectable 8 out of 10.

As the first half wore on, talking was allowed during the game, but not during the advertisements as each commercial was carefully graded.

Brittany Spears and her Pepsi commercial captured a 4.5, while Charles Schwab, Hank Aaron and Bobby Bonds grabbed a big 9.

The entire group was anti-beer commercials until they actually began running. The Budweiser commercials were getting 6’s, Visa got a 5 and E-trade and its monkey earned a respectable 7.

When the Budweiser Clydesdales kneeled outside New York City the group declared a whole new category: patriotic exploitation.

Quiznos, FedEx and Yahoo were doomed – Each got a zero for stupidity, while mlife just made everyone mad. “Why don’t they just tell us what it is?” asked Ferland. “We’re beyond not caring. We don’t like them.”

But – after all – this game featured the Patriots and the Patriots are from New England. Even people who traditionally are more interested in politics, sharing recipes and the level of school funding began paying attention to the game.

The biggest cheers of the night were for interceptions and touchdowns and when New England went into the locker room at the half with a substantial lead, the partygoers headed for the food table.

Ah, the menu: bacon-wrapped scallops, enchilada pie, hot spinach and artichoke dip, pate, still-warm chocolate chip cookies and raspberry and peach upside down cake.

Defensively, sensing that this might not be “real” Super Bowl fare, Brooks-Rock announced, “We have beer, pickles and pretzels too!”

What could be better? Pickles, beer, scallops, good friends – and the lead.


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