Far-fetched ‘Dragonfly’ a sure-fire disaster Costner’s recent run of duds continues

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In theaters

DRAGONFLY, directed by Tom Shadyac, written by David Seltzer, Brandon Camp and Mike Thompson, 105 minutes, rated PG-13.

Following close on the wings of Mark Pellington’s “The Mothman Prophecies” is Tom Shadyac’s supernatural drama “Dragonfly,” which is the story of a burned-out emergency-room doctor whose pregnant wife, Emily (Susanna Thompson), leaves for Venezuela on a Red Cross missionary mission only to die in a freak bus accident when a mudslide overcomes the vehicle and swallows it whole.

Lucky her.

The film stars Kevin Costner, always a shaky prospect these days; Linda Hunt as a creepy nun fascinated with the near-death experiences of pediatric oncology patients; Kathy Bates as a mannish lawyer who “just deals in facts” and doesn’t “know about any dealings with the afterlife”; and an ill-looking parrot named Big Bird, who collapses midway through the film in a terrible fit of seizures.

One can’t blame the poor bird for nearly dropping dead. Just as when “Mothman” was released, there are undoubtedly going to be those who will want to pull off “Dragonfly’s” wings.

In the film, Costner is Joe Darrow, a man consumed with the idea that his wife is trying to communicate with him from beyond the grave.

And who can blame him? Emily’s personal totem was a dragonfly, which Joe now sees everywhere. They tap against his windows in the middle of the night, reveal themselves in birthmarks and in paperweights, and even come to him in the mail attached to a child’s decorative mobile.

More confusing to Joe is that two of Emily’s oncology patients are convinced Emily is speaking to them each time they have near-death experiences. Initially, Joe doesn’t believe them, but when a cadaver’s bloated, pendulous belly starts bubbling up the wispy sounds of Emily’s voice, well, Joe becomes a believer – and fast.

Launching into action, something the laconic Costner can barely do these days, he flies to Venezuela in a prop plane piloted by a man who wields a gun and who “ah speeka like dees.”

Once in the jungles of Venezuela, Joe has all sorts of troubles: He nearly drowns while diving into a river to see what’s left of Emily’s destroyed bus, he stumbles upon an undeveloped, spear-wielding tribe hauled straight out of central casting – and in an attempt to hear what Emily has to say to him, he tosses himself into the middle of a waterfall so he can become one with a rainbow.

None of it makes much sense, but I promise you this – the way Shadyac shoots that last little gem, you’ll think you’re watching a Skittles commercial.

Grade: D

On video and DVD

THE MUSKETEER, directed by Peter Hyams, written by Gene Quintano, based on the novel by Alexandre Dumas, 105 minutes, rated PG-13.

If you believe the hype, Peter Hyams’ “The Musketeer” is supposed to wed the action of Ang Lee’s “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon” to 17th century swordplay. That’s its selling point – and, incidentally, its undoing.

In spite of utilizing Chinese choreographer Xin-Xin Xiong (Tsui Hark’s “Time and Tide”), the film never offers anything as inspiring, thrilling or as heady as the flawless choreography Yuen Woo-Ping presented in “Crouching Tiger” and “The Matrix.”

There’s no soul to the action, no heart to the fight scenes. The film does end with a fun sequence that takes place upon seesawing ladders, but that scene comes too late in the film – and on the back end of too many empty, pop-culture cliches.

In spite of logging two decades in the movie business, Hyams (“End of Days”) still hasn’t learned that action alone can’t make a bad movie good; it just makes it busy. Worse, he’s so reliant on the boring trend of cutting movies to look like music videos, whatever energy his film could have had feels manufactured and nervous.

Somehow, Hyams snagged a promising cast – Catherine Deneuve as the Queen of France, Stephen Rea as Cardinal Richelieu, Mena Suvari as the sluttish Francesca and Tim Roth as the one-eyed Febre – but he wastes them.

His focus is on Justin Chambers as D’Artagnan, but either because Hyams can’t direct or because Chambers can’t act, D’Artagnan becomes the film’s dullest blade, a moving clothesline with the charisma of a scarecrow who will make Dumas fans long for the best films of the bunch – from the 1921 Douglas Fairbanks classic to Richard Lester’s hilarious 1974 and 1975 versions, “The Three Musketeers” and “The Four Musketeers.”

Grade: D-

Christopher Smith is the Bangor Daily News film critic. His reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, occasionally on Fridays on E! Entertainment’s E! News Daily, Tuesdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5” and Thursdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5:30” on WLBZ-2 and WCSH-6. He can be reached at BDNFilm1@aol.com.

Video-DVD Corner

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

? F

The Musketeer ? D-

The Taste of Others ? A-

Don’t Say a Word ? C-

Hardball ? C+

O ? B+

Hearts in Atlantis ? B

Life Without Dick ? D

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin ? D

Ghost World ? A

Lost & Delirious ? C-

Atlantis: The Lost Empire ? C

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion

? B-

Lisa Picard is “Famous” ? B

Kiss of the Dragon ? B-

Rock Star ? B

American Pie 2 ? C+

Bubble Boy ? F

Glitter ? D

Sound and Fury ? A

Jeepers Creepers ? D

The Fast and the Furious ? B

The Glass House ? C

Greenfingers ? B-

What’s the Worse that Could

Happen ? D

The Center of the World ? C

Evolution ? D-

Two Can Play That Game ? C+

Moulin Rouge ? A-

The Princess Diaries ? C+

Scary Movie 2 ? D

Hedwig and the Angry Inch ? A

Jurassic Park III ? B-

Rush Hour 2 ? D

The Score ? B

American Outlaws ? F

Ghost of Mars ? C-

Pearl Harbor ? D

Summer Catch ? C-

Bread and Roses ? A-

Divided We Fall ? A

Made ? B

Pootie Tang ? D+

Osmosis Jones ? C-

Dr. Suess’ How the Grinch Stole

Christmas ? D+

Planet of the Apes ? C-

America’s Sweethearts ? D+

crazy/beautiful ? B

Tomb Raider ? D+

Doctor Zhivago (DVD debut) ?

A-

The Golden Bowl ? C+

Legally Blonde ? B+

Shrek ? A