‘Soroity Boys,’ ‘Original Sin’ hit new levels of bad

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In theaters

SORORITY BOYS, directed by Wally Wolodarsky, written by Joe Jarvis and Greg Coolidge, 94 minutes, rated R.

In Wally Wolodarsky’s “Sorority Boys,” three members of the Kappa Omicron Kappa fraternity are accused of theft, flushed out of their frat house like yesterday’s stale beer and then left to their own devices to prove their innocence.

During the messy course of events that follow, Dave (Barry Watson), Adam (Michael Rosenbaum) and Doofer (Harland Williams) find themselves dressing as women so they can reveal the crime’s true perpetrator and thus be allowed entrance to their fraternity’s annual “KOK-tail Kruise,” which, if you believe the hype, will allegedly stand as a high point in their lives. I didn’t doubt that for a minute.

Still, as lowbrow as their lives are – and as high concept as the film sounds – none of this happens before the boys, now dressed as mannish women, rush Delta Omicron Gamma, or DOG, a sorority comprised mostly of social outcasts not exactly celebrated for their good looks.

Among the women at DOG are a giantess who just wants to be loved, a staunch bisexual feminist who detests most men, a chubby Asian with a speech impediment, a bearded French girl and one young woman played by Heather Matarazzo whose shrill, bellowing voice is about as easy on the ears as the sound of meat in a grinder.

Since “Sorority Boys” is a self-described cross between “Animal House” and “Tootsie,” with a dash of “Bosom Buddies” tossed in for good measure, it probably only makes sense that these boys will eventually find themselves battling it out in a rubber sex toy swordfight while also, in the end, becoming more sensitive to the needs of the women they once so freely and cruelly ridiculed.

Too bad none of it is funny.

As written by first-time screenwriters Joe Jarvis and Greg Coolidge, “Sorority Boys” never gets as ugly as “Whipped” or “Tomcats” when it comes to bashing women, but it does bash in its own pseudo-cutesy way – and in so doing it holds back, refusing to throw an equal amount of punches at the men.

You know, the ones who deserve it.

Grade: F

On video and DVD

ORIGINAL SIN, written and directed by Michael Cristofer, based on the novel “Waltz Into Darkness” by Borness Woolrich, 112 minutes, rated R.

For fans of camp and truly bad movies, Michael Cristofer’s potboiler, “Original Sin,” is a treasure, a real find, one of those monolithic mediocrities that’s so disastrous, its badness is a virtue, something that transcends mere rottenness to become one of 2001’s biggest jokes.

Whether the film is busy featuring Angelina Jolie naked, harried and unhappy as a conniving Havana harpy out to rip off the world, or tossing Antonio Banderas onto the floor so he can foam at the mouth after drinking rat poison, or asking its actors to speak this sort of dialogue – “I just killed a man!” “Yes, well, I just bought a hat!” – it’s impossible to take any of it seriously, so the only honest reaction is to snort with laughter.

Set in Havana circa 1900, the film stars Jolie as Julia Russell, a hot-to-trot mail-order bride hauled to Havana to marry the wealthy Cuban coffee planter, Luis Vargas (Banderas).

Or so Vargas thinks. In spite of the fact that this Julia looks nothing like the photo he has of the real Julia, Vargas is so taken by her beauty he decides to overlook the glaring inconsistencies and marry her anyway.

Big mistake. Before Vargas can cry “liar” and “tramp,” Julia has revealed herself to be both, a woman who gleefully rakes men over the coffee grounds so she can fatten her bank account. The best thing about the movie is that all of this takes place within the first 30 minutes, allowing director Cristofer ample time to focus on what really matters to him – Angelina Jolie’s lips, which have become an institution.

Watching them open time and again to devour one of Jolie’s fingers, which she sucks on and nearly swallows in her heroic effort to please the “Emmanuel” crowd, is one of the more curious moments in recent cinematic memory. Here we have an Academy Award-winning actress willing to sandbag her talent and plunge herself into self-parody all while fueling what’s little more than a tawdry scrap of soft core porn.

If the film weren’t so damn funny, that might give some people reason to pause.

Grade: F

Christopher Smith’s reviews appear Mondays and Fridays in Style, occasionally on Fridays on E! Entertainment’s “E! News Daily,” Tuesdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5” and Thursdays on “NEWS CENTER at 5:30” on WLBZ 2 and WCSH 6. He can be reached at BDNFilm1 @aol.com.

THE VIDEO-DVD CORNER

Renting a video or a DVD? NEWS film critic Christopher Smith can help. Below are his grades of recent releases in video stores.

Donnie Darko ? B

K-Pax ? B-

Life as a House ? C

Original Sin ? F

Our Lady of the Assassins ? B+

Riding in Cars with Boys ? B-

Training Day ? B-

Heist ? B+

Joy Ride ? B+

Zoolander ? C-

A.I. ? B-

The Last Castle ? C-

Sexy Beast ? B+

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

? F

The Musketeer ? D-

The Taste of Others ? A-

Don’t Say a Word ? C-

Hardball ? C+

O ? B+

Hearts in Atlantis ? B

Life Without Dick ? D

Captain Corelli’s Mandolin ? D

Ghost World ? A

Lost & Delirious ? C-

Atlantis: The Lost Empire ? C

The Curse of the Jade Scorpion

? B-

Lisa Picard is “Famous” ? B

Kiss of the Dragon ? B-

Rock Star ? B

American Pie 2 ? C+

Bubble Boy ? F

Glitter ? D

Sound and Fury ? A

Jeepers Creepers ? D

The Fast and the Furious ? B

The Glass House ? C

Greenfingers ? B-

What’s the Worse that Could

Happen ? D

The Center of the World ? C

Evolution ? D-

Two Can Play That Game ? C+

Moulin Rouge ? A-

The Princess Diaries ? C+

Scary Movie 2 ? D

Hedwig and the Angry Inch ? A

Jurassic Park III ? B-

Rush Hour 2 ? D

The Score ? B

American Outlaws ? F

Ghost of Mars ? C-

Pearl Harbor ? D

Summer Catch ? C-

Bread and Roses ? A-

Divided We Fall ? A

Made ? B

Pootie Tang ? D+

Osmosis Jones ? C-