Do you know who Cindy, Bobby, Jan, Peter, Marsha and Greg are? Do you know how Nicholas, Tommy, Nancy, Susan, David, Mary, Elizabeth and Joanie are related? Have you heard of Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph and the rest of their brothers?

If you guessed that these are all part of the ever-expanding Bangor Humane Society alumni club, you’re right.

They are all dogs that have come through our doors as nameless strays, hoping their owners would come in so they could retrieve their previous title of “Buddy.” When the dogs’ owners failed to reclaim them, they became part of a new family – the Bangor Humane Society clan. And their new “parents,” our animal care technicians, found them new names.

While the names listed may seem to be lacking in creativity (who knew that ’70s sitcom trivia could come in so handy in a job?), the dilemma of finding names for the many animals that arrive each week can be trying. Anyone who has ever seen a battle between two sisters, both eight months pregnant and fighting over who can name their daughter “Alexis,” can understand.

Close to 5,000 animals arrive at the Humane Society each year, approximately 4,000 of which already have names before their arrival.

That takes about 2,000 names out of the realm of possibility (half of the dogs that are owner-surrendered come with the names Buddy, Chance, Lucky or Max, and at least that many cats are named Snowball or Midnight).

So now it’s time to find names for the remaining, and there are so many.

Some 1,000 animals were found out on the street last year in the Bangor area. All of these had had nice, warm, comfy homes at one time. But without a voice to call them home or tags to direct their finders, these animals were brought to us.

Of those, only 40 percent of the dogs’ owners came to claim them. Cats fair much worse – only 2 percent of them are reclaimed. Luckily, at the Bangor Humane Society, they do have a second chance. They can be put up for adoption and, we hope, find a good home. Many of them do. But they are stuck with names like Ralph and Pottsy.

Do you really want to subject your dog to the horrendous teasing from other dogs that comes with a name like Squiggy? And you know that the vets’ staffs are going to laugh at your cat after it’s been named Opie.

So protect your pets from such a name. And, protect them from the very real possibility of death for a stray animal by car or other ill fate – ensure that your pet is tagged at all times, including cats that are indoor-only, because you never know what might happen.

Attend to your animals when they are outdoors. Leash them in the city. Protect them. If your pet does go astray, call us and your town office – we will try to assist you in any way possible. Remember that pets do not have the ability to speak for themselves.

To assist our creatively drained staff, consider donating your old baby name books. After all, you’ve known all along that you would name your daughter Alexis.

P.S. Kudos to the proud owners of the cat who wears the tag “11:30,” the one that is not quite Midnight. Now that’s creativity.

Bev Uhlenhake is executive director of the Bangor Humane Society, 693B Mount Hope Ave. For information, call 942-8902.